Bitch Switch activated.

Ok so he didn't get the hint. I finally answered my phone and was like, "Please stop calling. I'm not interested". His response via text message, "Que?". Oh these mexican boys and the misunderstanding of the English language. I felt like telling him, 'You see in ENGLISH. When someone says that they aren't interested that usually means that you are a-creepy-ass-mofo-who-won't-stop-calling-and-i-dont-have-a-stalk-position-available.' But instead I text'd back: STOP CALLING ME. his response(and this had me cracking up. This is it verbatim): You not want talk to me no more? ummm. after that last text the answer would be 100% no. So I write back: No. his response(verbatim again) plise call me. Plise? I plise do nothing of the sort. plise stop calling me, how about that? No. And he called yet again. Ok am I that cute for someone to fall absolutely 100% in love with me in less than a week? I mean seriously I thought that I was about average maybe like a 8.5 but seriously this boy was out of control. Finally after the 100th unanswered phone call he stopped, but it's still 1:00 in the afternoon I can only hope he has given up. And another one bites the dust.

Hmmm...how about no?

So I went on my date saturday and let's just say this boy was talking about a long term relationship, on the first date. He tried to kiss me after the date but I backed off. I thought that he would get the hint but he kept calling yesterday. I hope that he gets the point today, I don't want to turn on the bitch switch.

K-Fed, please stop.

Dear Mrs. Britney Spears, According to an article on msn.com your husband has recently released a song. I hear it's horrible. Now we all know that I'm a lover of cheesy pop music but even I have to draw the line somewhere. So I ask you this: Please divorce him, quit getting fat and make a new damn album. After you have done what I have requested I will return to being one of your loyal fans. Sincerely yours, Santi

Myspace Mayhem

I joined myspace about 6 months ago so that I could get more people to read my blog. That has since changed. I'm addicted to it. Here's my url if you want to be my friend. http://www.myspace.com/velvetsaje But beware its like crack, but worst because it's free

A Review: Ventana Del Soul

Almost three years ago I got this job at Ventana Del Soul. This is where I met J-Boo, Sarah, Bob and a bunch of other Austinites. I also got this really bad ass painting that I'll post soon. Well back in the day when I worked here this place had the best Panini sandwiches that I've ever eaten and I was craving one bad today. So bad that I had to digress in my hate for this place(its a very long story) and come in and get one. Bad Idea. I ordered and Turkey and Provalone with Sun Dried Tomatoe pesto. Now when I worked here this was a very good sandwiche but today, there was no lettuce, but cucumbers instead and it was very bland. I paid 6.00 for this damn sandwich and it taste like ass. I would hate to try the coffee. The place has a nice premise and it's located in the heart of my neighborhood but I doubt that I will be coming back...EVER.

The Gauntlet 2 heats up.

Ok so I called her Evil Beth last week for taking out Ruthie but after reading her recap of this week's past episode she has redeemed herself. Apparently there is a Rookie Female alliance with the Veteran Men alliance. You see the Rookie women would lose when it was a guy's turn to go into the Gauntlet, therefore sending one of their guys home and then the Veteran Guys would lose when it was female's turn to go into the Gauntlet therefore sending a Veteran Female home. It sound confusing I know and I really don't know how people come up with these kind of strategies(it's brilliant if you ask me) but if you want you can read all about it here.

Stupid shouldn’t play Cupid.

Meet Stupid, Infamous O, and Hondu. So the Infamous O(IO) and I have known each other for a very long time, some would say our entire lives but I have to make some stuff up to protect the innocent so we’ll just say we have been friends for awhile. Well IO was dating this guy that I like to call Stupid because trust me he is very dumb, or stupid. One of the reasons that I like to call him this demeaning name is because 1) he’s “bi” and 2) I’m very protective of IO, I love her like a sister. I don’t understand the workings of Bisexual men, therefore I don’t like them(there’s also a very long history that goes with this but I have to keep somethings personal right?). I know that it’s very contradicting for me to not like Bi guys but hey I’m gay and I play by my own rules.

So Stupid text messaged me yesterday stating that he had this friend that he wanted me to meet and I immediately wrote IO back with the following message:

Ur X is dumb. Gurl doesn’t he know that Stupid shouldn’t play cupid?

She writes back:

That’s what I told him, he’s REAL GAY.

REAL GAY is something that we picked up off of Drawn Together. It’s cute.

But back to my point, so I tell Stupid that I do not, absolutely 100% do not like being hooked up. I believe that I can find men to break my heart my own way and I don’t need anyone’s assistance in this. Obviously Stupid did not understand this because about an hour later he said that he wanted to come over and hang out, I like the idiot that I am sometimes agreed. Twenty minutes later he calls me because he can’t find my apartment (like I said he is REAL stupid) and that “They” were on their way. Wait a minute. When did, “I’m” turn into “we”? Damn it I had been had by stupid none the less so this made the situation far more stressful.

Then Hondu arrived. He’s this cute little 21 year old twink from Honduras. Since my spicy Latina friend Emma is Honduran, it made me instantly attracted to him. I figure since I can’t have Emma I could have a nice replacement. So Hondu and I started talking and blah blah blah I gave him my number. I mean it was the least I could do, we had both been tricked by Stupid and there was no way out of this, plus I thought he was cute. I did though feel weird about the fact that I was hooked up by a friend, not that Stupid is a friend but you get the point right? I text messaged IO again and asked:

Ok he’s cute but do I look that desperate?

IO writes back:

I don’t know are you?

Me:

Maybe…

IO:

You’re REAL GAY.

Me:

Duh.

So Stupid and Hondu left and I was allowed to give my full attention to American Idol Did ya’ll see that bitch Rhinesa or Rhikesa or Starkisha go off on Paula? It was a classic display of people acting a damn fool for camera time. Don’t worry I took some notes for when I get my 15 minutes of fame. So in the middle of my damn show Hondu calls me to talk, and then Stupid text messages me:

What did you think of my friend?

Me:

He’s cute but you should let him know that I don’t like guys who come on to strong.

Then that was it, no more phone calls or text messages for the night. I do though have a date this weekend so we’ll see.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

The Real World: SxSw

So yesterday I went to the volunteer call like I said I would and it was complete hysteria. There were people everywhere and after a few moments of confusion someone asked me if I had seen the video about what exactly it is to volunteer. So I had to watch this 15 minute video titled, "The Real World: SxSw", it started out just like any other Real World show but the funny thing was that it was actually better than the Austin season. Well after the video I met some pretty interesting people and I cannot wait to volunteer. I got the Sx Music Pass which will give me access to all the music shows(for free!), any parties that are being had by sxsw members, a bar b que, a softball game and I believe(but don't quote me) a music panel. I'm just interested about going to see the shows for free and the parties. I set my hours so I can still have time to see shows and get a good amount of sleep. I can't wait!!!

The Real World: Key West

After being disapointed with a very lackluster season of the Real World: Austin(also known as the "Danny and Melinda Show"). My faith in my favoriate reality show has been restored with the Gauntlet 2: Veterans vs. Rookies because there is some drama on there!! First, Jo from San Fransico went all banana ape shit and called the cops so she could be escorted out of the house, then people quit and started fighting. Now recently one of my favoriates Ruthie was beat in the Gauntlet by the evil Beth. This is getting good, but let's get to the point here. The new Real World is set to start in Febuary and let me tell you, there is gonna be some drama, and a few hurricanes. This new cast is hot(especially Tyler, the gay one) Enjoy! The Real World: Key West

What you talking about Willus?

SD and I are having a picture battle on our cell phones. I think this picture is cute. What do you think?

I wish I knew how to quit you!

I was going to wait until the Oscars to write about 'Brokeback Mountain', and who knows I still may do that but the above link has an excellent review of the film. It's an amazing piece of art about the rarest of human emotions: love.

I recommnend that everyone go see it. If not once but twice(like me). And after you've seen the film, I think you should cough up the money and buy the short story(like me).

Bri'ing it On.

Jaime has said practically the entire time that I've known him that his bestfriend, Bri is the female version of him. I should mention before someone stabs me that Bri is also my friend. So after knowing both of them for almost five years now, I'd say he is absolutely correct. She's the yin to his yang, and I'm just chopped liver, but that's note the point here. Bri lives in the fabulous state of California, with her fiance who does something that I'm not allowed to talk/write about or else I will get stabbed(hopefully not again). She's happy, and loving it which I'm so happy about it. Well a couple of months ago Jaime calls me and exclaims, "Bri has my dream job!". You see Jaime like myself wants to be a published writer, and Bri is doing exactly that in Cali-forn-I-A. It's amazing I know a published writer, I can now add that to the list of Delebrities that I know. Not that Bri is a Delebrity because in my book she's an A-List star especially since she's in print. I'd add her blog but unfortunately she doesn't have one, so all I have to give you is some links to her articles. Winter visitors flock to annual welcome by E.C. chamber No flu epidemic, but increase seen in RSV Retired teacher is 84 and still going; spends days teaching literacy And damn it I should have gotten her autograph when she was here for Jaime's "Half way to 50" birthday party.

Was this a bad joke?

So one of my co-workers was reading the current edition of 'People' and they had an article about Ethiopian Idols. So being the smart ass that I am I asked, "What is the prize, like a lifetime worth of food?" So was that a bad joke or was it funny?

New Daily Reads Added

I discoved yesterday that yet another one of my co-workers/friends has a blog. He's actually commented on here several times, I just never figured out that it was him. Well being the bitch that I am, I demanded that I be added to his link list. He did and today he wrote a nice little review of my blog, in return I added him. It's quite an interesting blog. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you gudpackage . Enjoy!

No day but today.

No Day But Today. So about 2 months ago my roomate Chase, Luis and I went to go see 'RENT'. At the time I wasn't in the correct mindset and I had no clue that the movie was going to be "AIDS the musical". Even though I had like 3 of the songs stuck in my head after the movie was over I didn't enjoy it at all. I told Chase afterwards, "Some movies should have just stay a play." I was utterly pissed that I had actually spent money on this worthless piece of film. I was so excited when I saw the preview in which they played "Seasons of Love" but this film felt like such a disapointment. I walked away angered, saddened and mad. That was of course until I did some research on what the hell "La Vie Boheme" is, and I learned that Moulin Rouge(a favoriate of mine) was based off the same play as 'RENT'. This got me more interested in the concept of 'RENT' and everything it stood for. This tiny obsession I had growing greatly increased when Jaime let me borrow the original broadway cd, with all of the hits(and none of the filler). I began(and am still continuing to listen to the cd back to back to back to week after week). At first I would just play my favoriates from the film, "Rent", "Light my candle", "Life Support", "Out Tonight", "Another Day", "La Vie Boheme" and "Seasons of Love". As time grew on I just let the song play and "One song Glory" became one of my favoriates on the entire disk, just the line of Roger saying "One song before I go. Glory. One song to leave behind", captivated me. It reminded me of my dream to leave one piece of my writings behind for generations to come(not that I plan on dying soon). So then Emma continued to beg me about going to see the movie, I was actually all for the idea because now I grew to appreciate what the film had to say, and better yet what the play had said over 10 years ago. She had to keep telling me to shut up because I was singing almost all of the songs. I was upset that they didn't include the full "Life Support" song in the film because that was an interesting part of the musical, it's where we as an audience are introduced to the lines, "There's only us, There's only this. Forget regret or life is your's to miss. No other road, no other way. No Day but today." These few lines carry over into Mimi and Roger's second Duet, "Another Day" and the finale. The whole concept of "No day but Today" wasn't fully emphasized in that missing two minutes of the film, and this was the only thing to anger me the second time around. I cried during the "Without you" number, seeing Mimi and Angel suffer so much and I cried even more during "Finale B". I immediately went out and bought the film version of the soundtrack, but I had grown so accustomed to the broadway version, that I felt robbed. Luckily Justin had liked the film as well, so when he came to visit during Christmas I gave it to him. I also remember a road trip that Jaime and I took years ago and he tried to get me to listen to Angel's, "Today 4 U", and I fought against it tooth and nail. And now I'm so appreciative of Johnathon Larson's vision of "La Vie Boheme!". It speaks volumes to my generation and the generations to come. I can't wait to go visit Justin and see the actual Broadway play, I'm sure it will make me more of a RENThead. So I leave you with my favoriate lines from some of the songs in the film... "How do you document real life? when real life getting like fiction each day." ~Rent "One song before I go. Glory. One song to leave behind" ~One Song Glory "There's only us, There's only this. Forget regret or life is your's to miss. No other road, no other way. No Day but today." ~Life Support "Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?" ~Will I? "To riding your bike mid day past the three suits. To fruits, to no absolutes to absolute. To Choice, to the village voice. To any passing fad. To being an us and not being a Them. La vie Boheme!" ~La Vie Boheme "To sodomy, that's between God and me!" ~La vie Boheme and of course... "525600 minutes, how do you measure a life in a year?" ~Seasons of Love Sadly the movie didn't do to well in the theaters but it comes out on dvd Febuary 21st. So check it out!

Texas weather makes people yellow.

It's true just look at me. Why do I look like I have a black eye? And why do I look so pale? It's the weather I'm telling you.

Friday the 13th

I look really bad huh?

Is this city too small or have I lived here too long?

I often don't like going out on a weeknight but last night Adrain wouldn't stop calling so I had to give in. Wait, who am I kidding? I am not one to pass up a good time, so just forget that whole part about me not going out on a weeknight. I like to go out plain and simple. So after Adrain had picked me up we headed over to Ex #2's house to have a pre-club drink(s)(s). I got to hear all about their trip to New York (that I was supposed to go on and probably wouldn't have acted a damn fool on New Year's had they told me sooner) and then Adrain tells me, "You the know the best thing that has happened to me since the break up is" and he hugs Ex #2, and goes and this is a real shocker, "him"(they've since become really good friends). I laugh a fake laugh(which they didn't notice) and allow them to continue their story... Ok so let's stop right there and get a little backstory. So about a million years ago in 2001, I had met Adrain. He and I were actually supposed to hook up(in a dating way...please get your mind out of the gutter), but alas that didn't happen because I ended up falling madly, insanely, stupidly in love with Ex #1. I also gained my bestfriend, Jaime out this but that's another story. So over the years Adrain and I remained friends, regardless of my relationship with Ex #1. The thing that got me was... ...There he was with Ex #2 telling me how much he appreciated him. I got to thinking, How exactly did this happen? I'm the one who met Ex #2, I'm the one who took him to one of your fabulous parties and now you guys are closer than you and I have ever been? How is this possible? I began to wonder if this city got smaller since I moved here four years ago. The thought still stuck with me as we got to the club and it increased even more so when we ran into what I like to call, the UT Fags(they are this group of people who we all have associated ourselves with in some way or fashion but never really hang out unless we are at a party or a club, in other words aquaintances). Well there was Jay, who I hadn't seen in awhile so we began to talk and catch up on his current break-up(I guess karma keeps going around doesn't it?). When I saw another one of the UTF alone, we'll call him Travis. Well Travis had been dating another UTF for a long time, who we'll call Armand and they had recently broken up. I along with Jay had also dated Armand. This continued the whole chain of thought about this city getting smaller the longer I live here. Had we Gay Austinites, or Young Gay Austinites run out of people to date? Would this revolving door of dating/friendships continue as I stay here longer? I walked away from the night, thinking "damn I need new friends, maybe SxSw will produce that" On a completely different note: I ran into Dan last night. Well let me clarify that I said hi to him and the proceeded to push him out of the way to get to the dance floor. He has curly hair now, it made me miss my curlies.

Text Messages

This post has been a long time coming but seeing as though I was on a brief hiatus, I didn't get a chance to write it. So this past Thanksgiving I was overly surprised to get let's say about 20-30 text messages from all of the U.S, with the same simple message "Happy Thanksgiving!". I guess making a short inpersonal message versus a 2 second phone call is alot easier. The same thing occured this past Christmas(with the messages increasing to over like 50). I had a terrible hangover that I just decided to turn my phone off and deal with it later. You see the thing with me is that I would much rather hear someone's voice on a holiday rather than the damn Peanut Butter Jelly song(my current Text Ringtone) but I suppose others don't feel that way. Which is completely fine with me because on New Year's Eve when I was acting a damn fool, I was way to under the influence to conduct any sort of coherent conversation, so a text message was the easist way. On the positive side of things, Texts are cheaper than phone calls. You get to convey your message without having to wait to speak to a person and it's a secretive way to talk about people that are in the same room(trust me I've done it a billion times). It just amazes me how technology has taken away the basic skill of human communication and altered it.

New Daily Reads Added

Those of you that know me rather well know that in the summer of 2002, I fell in love with one of the cast members on Big Brother 3, Marcellas Reynolds. I have his autograph and have actually exchanged a few emails with him. He is a great and entertaining guy so I'm proud to announce his blog has been added to my daily reads.

Cyclist Smokers and other Tidbits

So I was riding the bus right and I saw this guy on his bicycle standing up and smoking a cigarette. I starting thinking to myself, who the #### does this kind of ####? I mean isn't kind of oxymoronic to ride your bike then smoke and then ride your bike some more? It kind of defeats the whole process, right? Then I thought #### it because I do the same damn thing. It doesn't defeat the process, it's just I can't seem to kick the habit of smoking. It's like crack, wait no it's worst than crack because it's a whole lot cheaper. ************************************************************************************ So I'm trying to write this short story called "A girl's bestfriend", pretty much its about this high class socialite who falls in love with this other girl at a party but then there is drama drama drama. For the life of me the damn story won't come out, it's like I'm trying to have child birth but the kid is like 'nah #### that I'm stayinging here'. Hopefully if the story comes out of me(whenever it decides to) I'll post it and make everyone cry. ************************************************************************************ Remember last year when I all caught up with him during SxSw? Well this year I decided that I should try something completely different and out there. I've decided to volunteer. It's gonna be sweet! I get to meet new people, see live music for free, be someone's bitch because I volunteered. I can't wait.

How I dropped the New Year's Ball.

This is for my fans, all 5 of you. Oh and RoB I texted you back. So since ex #2 and Adrian decided not to tell me about the New York trip until way after they bought there tickets I decided to spend New Year's with J-Boo and Bob because his cousin was throwing a New Year's Party. His cousin Nini is the queen of all bitches, I mean I almost want to give her my 'Queen of all the is Bitchy' crown but #### that ####. So onto my story well we got to the party and there was a #### load of people that I didn't know there, all of which I assumed was straight because I didn't want to start the New Year with a bat to my head. So Nini was like "Make yourselves at home, there's beer, jello shots and yager bombs"(all three of my favoriate food groups). So we took shot after shot after shot after shot(you get the point) and I met one of J-Boo's high school friend's who we'll call Ronnie. He was so nice and sweet and commented on my new hat(think Danny from RWA, but cuter) so for a few brief seconds I thought 'well maybe this boy is gay?' and then that thought quickly left my mind when a fight broke out in the bathroom. This is when all hell broke loose, beers were flying everywhere, there was blood. J-Boo was screaming at her boyfriend because she thought he was in the fight but he was only trying to break it up. At this point Ronnie was like "let's go chill in my car until this quiet's down" and I completely took that the wrong way and hit on him. He was shocked, to say the least and I had to continously apologize through out the night. I felt and still feel like a damn fool because normally I'm good with these type of things but this time I just felt like an idiot. I wish I could apologize in person because I seriously think I traumatized that poor boy.

oops...my bad.

Note to Self: Never hit on a straight guy even though you think he is gay because he is being all friendly to you and invites you back to his car for unknown reasons. That is all. Hope everyone had a good New Year because I know I did!