And it's over.

Well as of this past tuesday this story has come to an end. Not to say that I'm surprised I saw it coming once the phone calls stopped and his attitude changed. But alas that is life and I can't say that I'm hurt just disapointed...I could have done so much more with my SxSw weekend but oh well whatever...his loss not mine. Also expect more delays in the blogging I have big things ahead. :-)

Open Casting Call in Austin!!!

Big Brother!!! Friday, April 8 Austin, TX 12noon - 6pm Gillman Hyundai6809 South IH 35Austin, TX 78744

Random Idiocy

Jaime: "Look girl I'm Irish" *does a Irish dance Santi: "You're also an idiot but we never talk about that do we?" ~Funny right? Santi: Quit calling me baby Adam: But damn it I wanna call you something no one else does, and bitch was taken. ~No? Scott: The loud music is hurting my ears. Jenny: It's cause your old. ~You have no idea!

A is for Absense

"A is for absense. It is sometimes-but not always-nice to think that other people may be talking about you when you are not present, that you are the subject of a conversation you have not steered in your directions and whose evolution depends on your absense. This is what happens to the famous. And to the dead. THey can be the life of the party and never show up. For those neither famour nor dead, at the bottom of their yearning to be absent is the hope that they will be missed. Being missed suggests being loved. True, not to be the active of living recipient of what one craves may seem a sorry fate. but it takes no effort. Hang around and you interfere with the love that could be yours; die and you clear a space for yourself." ~Mark Strand, "The Weather of Words", 'A Poet's Alphabet', page 3. Not only have I returned to my journals, I've now gone back to reading, most recently I finished "Letters to a young poet" by Rainer Rilke(Jaime gave it to me two years ago, and I barely finished it). Something is going on...

For Pam.

How to play The Amazing Race like Romber: -Get an Americanto help you in Peru -Bribe a security guard so the other teams wont get info -Take money from other teams so that you can bribe a bus drive to not open the back door for people, then keeping your share of the money. -Steal a cab from a winning team(who got elimanated in that leg) -Quit a Task, take a 4 hour penalty and get other teams to do the same thing. -Go from 5th to 1st after above reason. -Be 1st twice(there have only been 4 legs in the race), even after all above reasons.

Journal

As I've told you I've rediscovered an old journal, I've decided to complete it from this point forward. Please forgive me if the blogs become less and less but I will try best to keep up with both.

Aftermath(March 8th 2004)

I found this in the journal I was talking about earlier. I thought it would be interesting to share, seeing as ALOT has changed since I wrote this. Enjoy! "So I've been patiently waiting for the last couple of months for this to happen. The man I love, left me for someone else, someone who he thought would be better than I was, and now it's all blown up in his face. Over the last couple of months, Ex #2 and I have gone from friends, to dating, to friends with benefits, to friends, to dating, to friends...you get the point. Well I knew that this day was coming, the day that his little dream boy would turned out to be someone else and I was right. So today he picks me up, we talk about my current issues with my mom and he tells me about his current issues with his boy. After about an hour he dropped me off and I didn't expect to talk to him for another week or so because this had become our new routine. Come midnight he called me and asked me to come over. I could tell in his voice that something wasn't right, but I unfortunately still had to be his friend. Like I said before the day I've been patiently waiting for had finally come, but I feel like shit. I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say. I hate that he's hurting and yes I do want to comfort him, but I can't because he's hurting for someone else. My emotions will go unnoticed. I don't understand how im supposed to be simpathetic. He knows that I will always be there and vice versa, but right now this is so difficult for me. I just want to hold him but I can't, it's to wrong. Nothing about this is right and I don't know" That is the last page in the journal, I haven't writting in it since. It was two days before I officially dropped out of school. Funny how things change huh? And yet some how they manage to stay the same.

In case you missed it.

I was in the paper on Friday. The whole article was really good and not to toot my own horn, but I can't believe these words came out of my mouth: 'A fan since "Real World" debuted in 1992, Aleman has one burning desire. "As cheesy as this sounds, I plan to be on a reality show some day," he says. "Maybe it will be the 'Real World,' maybe not. I honestly don't want the minifame that comes with it. I want the experience -- and the chance to someday go down in history without creating some grand invention." ' of course all of Austin, not to mention all of the SxSw execs got to see this picture, which isn't so nice: I was drunk I swear.

I don't want to write a begining,

Because that would mean I'd have to write an ending and I dont't want to. I heard this really interesting quote last night while Adam and I were watching the L Word, It came from Jen who is a bisexual basket case, but none the less she is a writer, the quote said this: "I didn't experience it so I could write about it, I experienced it so I could." So I don't know how to write about this weekend, or maybe I don't want to. It's a confusing situation, not the Adam situation but the battle of what I should write about. so this is the clift notes version: He got here on Thursday at 1:33, we took a cab to my house, laid there on my bed all gitty because he was here, then of course we kissed, and that was all. He met my dad, we had dinner and attempted to go out. Adrian, Jenny, Juan, Justin, Monique, RT, SD and some others ending up coming over and everyone fell in love with him. Friday, we went to the capital, ate at hickory street, went to the austin museum of art, read my article from the statesman over and over again. Saw sabrosa play, then went home hung out, juan and terrance came over and then we went to go meet Jaime and Ric for a Mary Lou Lord concert. Came home watched Dangerous Beauty, and then talked forever. Saturday, we got up late and attempted to make it downtown, but Justin got in a wreck(he's fine), so Jenny, Sarah and SD came over and we went to go see some crappy live bands downtown, afterwards we went to Sarah's drank and came home around 10:30. We had a mini disagreement but it was mostly annoyance because we had been with each other for 3 days now so it was only natural. Sunday, I made breakfast. We walked on Town Lake and sat under a tree in Zilker Park for what seemed like forever(I know I could have stayed there forever). We came home, I made dinner and we watched the Contender(I think Burnett gave that guy chicken pox...but thats a whole other blog). I finally had the balls to show him my writings and I just left him alone with it to soak it in. I on the other hand took a trip back to last year via one of my journals....it was kinda depressing. Ex 2 came over to drop off some cds and they got to meet. Afterwards we watched the L word and just talked til 4 this morning. I learned alot in that conversation, alot that made me open my eyes to who he was and alot that opened my eyes to who he could be. He left this morning at 10...just short of an hour ago. I kind of feel empty that he's gone. I really dont know what to think or feel about going home right now. Because I know that once I walk into that door, he won't be there. It will just be a memory of an excellent weekend, with a potential love interest or an even greater friend. There's alot of things that him and I need to work out with each other but that will all come in due time. It's just so much got turned on inside me this weekend that now I'm left here to deal and analyze it, just like he is. I don't want to say I feel in love this weekend because love is such a strong and overused word, but I did find someone that I could see myself falling in love with. Yes he does have some faults(a little bit gayer than I am, very quick witted, bitchier than I am, stubborn as I am....cute as fucking hell!!) but so do I and I think that with love like most things, it's what you learn to accept rather than change. Before he left I asked him if he had anything to entertain himself with, he said no so I gave him Maya Angelou's "I know why the caged bird sings" mostly because it is one my favoriate books and two because its about life and the journies we make that consistently make us who we are. I have one of his shirts, and a necklace that he said he's going to come back for. I can only hope. His eyes are so beautiful, just the right shade of light brown. They compliment his hair and complexion. He has this amazing smile, that got me everytime I started to find myself frustrated with him. His butt is the cutest butt I have seen in a long time, and OMG his personality...ok I had to add that so I'd have it written down.

Vacation

Off til next Tuesday, the vacation starts in t-minus 8 hours.

Foursies.

I love it when nights go completely unplanned but yet seem to be the best thing that could have ever happened. Jenny called last night and wanted to hang out, she had Stephen King's The Stand with her and that's one of my all time favoriate movies. So I invited her over, later in the night RT and Shaniqua came over and we began a game of fours(or Foursies, as Jenny calls it). The basic concept is this. Each person has 4 cards dealt face down, you cannot look at or touch these cards until you reach them. Four more cards are then dealt face up, which you can trade with the next hand of four which is also placed faced down. The dealer then flips over a card which will be the base for that round. There are also three cards placed face down that the first three players pick up after their turn. Now here's where the strategy comes into play. There are 3 cards with Special powers that can help you in the game. 2-brings all cards back to zero and whatever card played next is the new base. 8-Reverses the order from counter clock wise to clockwise and vice versa. 10-Clears all cards, to a scrap pile. The object is to get rid of all of your cards before everyone else does, if you can't beat a card that was just played, you have to take the pile and start from there to try and get to zero. We played a total of 21 games(8 I won, 5 RT won, 4 Shaniqua won, and 4 Jenny won). The bitches tried to align against me, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. The queen of strategy....he he its a good thing I taught them a lesson.

More Funny Quotes

Just wanted to once again remind you how funny I am. Random Idiocy: Jaime: What the fuck is wrong with you? Santi: Oh you know, drugs and stuff. -Fun times at Pier 1 Jaime: You done making brownies gurl? Santi: No gurl, i made pudding. -i swear to god we're all waaaay to comfortable with each other velvetsaje: when a boy wants your ding ding, you give him your ding ding. -sage advice from LaSanti Santi: If I have to take you out fo here kicking and screaming I will. Jaime: What? Santi: I don't know. Where are we? Who are you? Jaime: You want a pierced dick so you can find whatevers stuck up your ass. Santi: Oh, THERE are my keys! There's more...but i dont wanna toot my own horn...he he

SxSw Update

Ok for SxSw and when Adam comes, here's the plan: Wednesday(pre-Adam): La Otro Lado de La Musica Latina Night @ Caribean Lights 8:00-12:00 12:00: Duncan Sheik @ The Drink Thursday(Adam): 8:30-10:00 P.M.-6th Street "whatever sounds good" trip, 45 Min Beer Breaks. 10:00 P.M-Martha Wainwright 11:00-Fox and Hound-Jazz Music. Friday: The Films: So far I have two films I wanna see. One is Child Star @ the Paramount @ 11:00 Am and the other is Kill Your Idols Then @ 5:00 it's off to Town Lake @ Auditorium Shores for Outdoor music. 9:00 Pm @ Soho Lounge: Mary Lou Lord-Funny thing about her is she is actually the one and only artist that I am dying to see. Jaime and I ran into her last year playing on the street with a tiny little Amp. I still have her cd, it's great. Can't wait to see her again!!! Saturday: Uhhhh....I dunno Just gonna wing it at this point. Wanna go See Vanilla Ice @ 1:00 with my friend Jeff but who knows. As for Sunday and Monday...i dunno. I swear if this boy does not have a good time...then I don't know what I would have done wrong.

Damn I'm Funny

My bestfriend has a random quote page: Random Idiocy This is one of my favoriates: "Santi: I'm gonna suck his dick, you eat her out. Vero: I don't eat pork. Santi: Take one for the team!" this one too: "Jaime: Can you imagine another four years girl? till 2008.... maybe by then you'll be in your first year of college! Santi: Maybe by then you'll have a job!" gotta love it

Update

So Adam is coming for 5 days, not 4. I've had a full 4 days planned for a month now. And now I have an extra day to see what's going to happen with him. I've NEVER ever EVER done anything like this EVER. oh gurl this should be fun.

Tales of the City

Just thought his post today was funny. Especially this part: "The 12 Disciples of Christ Chocolate Set (white chocolate six inches, dark chocolate 10 inches)"~I think I want a chocalate disciple. I'm gonna be right there with him, waiting in line to get to hell. Also, Mark Burnett is god. He had me for 3 hours last night...still loving the contender.

Road Trip anyone?

Open Big Brother Casting call!!! They are gonna be in Corpus Christi and I am so going to be there! Also, got this cute littel button today it says: "Whoa! This is like a live reality show"~if ya only knew ;-) Raul, scroll down your link is under "Daily Reads"

New Daily Reads Added.

You remember Dan Renzi right? He was on The Real World: Miami, way back when. Also added The Real World/Road Rules Blog. Enjoy!

Reality Report, Issue 1.

The Reality Report. First of all welcome to the first edition of VelVet's Reality Report. This is going to be an ongoing thing on blogger from now on, get used it!! The Contender: Now to start things off with, I must say Mark Burnett has done it again. Within 5 minutes of watching the show, I was hooked. The men for the most part where fine!!! ok enough of that part of the show, let's get to the concept: 16 fighters from all of the United States are split into two different sides(East Coast vs. West Coast, the only problem I had with this was that Texas was with the East Coast side. Ummmm Excuse me Mr. Burnett, have you read any American History...Texas is West Coast, biatch!). Now each week(I think the show is airing two times a week, but we'll find out this Thursday when a new episode airs) both Coasts compete against each other as a team. This week they had to run something like 5 miles carrying these logs, and every so often they would reach a point where there was a new log, and a code to unlock the log. It was a very hard mental game, not to mention the physical part. The West Coast won, and this is where the game gets interesting. The winning team gets to pick a fighter to go into the next bought and that fighter gets to pick his opponent from the losing Coast. The West Coast picked their smallest and what they thought weakest fighter. This boy had some guts cause the opponent he picked was not only the best fighter on the East Coast but he was also undefeated(i think, i was a little inebriated) and this is where Burnett had me once again. These two guys actually start fighting in a real ring, with a real audience, and trust me they get to kick each other's asses!!!! Needless to say the small squirt from the West Coast kicked the East Coast's guy ass. Next time I plan on writing with the guys actual names instead of the coasts. And I'm sure most of ya''ll have read about this right? Which makes this show even more compelling. So all and all this show is great, it's Boxing Suviva Style. (Click Here if you wanna run down of the fighters) Speaking of Survivor, did ya'll also see Team Romber lie, steal and cheat their way through The Amazing Race last night? It was freaking hilarious. It was Survivor: All Stars all over again! Team Gay Boys and Team Norman(the gay boy and his mom) are still in the Race, so woo hoo!! and Thank God Team Barbie/Team Mattel are out of the game. I also found it completely funny for my own demented reasons, when the host Phil was explaining the next challenge in Chile(the country they were in), he said this "Teams must now travel to the center of Santiago..."-nuf said. Also Jonathon from The Amazing Race 6 states for the millionith time that he doesn't beat his wife...(Click here for the Article)-I still don't believe him. Til Next time I'm Out!

2 weeks later

I finally got these, at first they weren't sent to the wrong address(my neighbors weren't nice enough to give them to me...but that's ok...they can wear them too). Also went to RbJ today, alls well as expected :-) a week and two days til Adam...im getting scurred.

Sunday Madness

Sunday started off quite quietly(like that?), but it was quickly changed when my father called me to inform me that he was on his way over. I had like 20 minutes to clean my place up, and erase any evidence of the previous night's events and also had to kick SD out of there....not because my dad would freak but just cause i said so. So my dad and I drove all over town running errands, and I learned something new about my dad(which i shall never reveal to a soul...ever) anyways so i went to the grocery store and got hit on my a 17yr old boy. He was cute in his little, gay, young, probably going to go to jail for this, kinda way. I blew him off and my dad kept telling me that I broke his heart(have i mentioned i love my dad sometimes?), so I went home and did the normal sunday errands, started watching the motorcyle diaries when Adrain called and wanted to go out, he has recently been seperated from his boy...which is truly sad. So we went to RCC with Adrain and ran into Sonny and Rigo...it was a freakin blast...and I can't believe that I let Sonny talk me into giving a boy my number(it was so cute, i was like "hey so and so, i just wanted to give u this cause i've had a crush on u since the first time i saw you, call me if u want, and if u dont want to, well that's cool too...) and then he was all dancing up on me. All and all it was a great night. everything seems to be falling into place for when Adam comes... what about this new boy you say? Just making sure I still have some options out there...if he doesnt call and Adam doesnt work out, I can just go find my 17yr old boy-sooooooooo kidding :-)

New Link Added

Added Raul's Confessional to my daily reads. These are the tales of Raul and his life in Southern Tx(also known as The Valley).

Let's Talk about Denver

I just updated with Four. Enjoy! even though its a little shorter than the others.

I got interviewed!!

I got an email interview on Thursday and then the lady from the Statesman called me yesterday. The article is supposed to run during SxSw, so look for it in your local Austin American Statesman on March 15th...Remember you heard it here first. I guess it does pay off to be a real world "stalker" :-/

I am so bad

I completely forgot to set Survivor to record tonight and I was completely bummed. Then I called my friend Juan and the convo went like this: Me: Girl, can u please record Survivor for me tonight? Juan: The only VHS I have to record over is porn. Me: The one I let u borrow? Juan: Yea Me: Fuck it, put some tape over the lil hole, and record over it. Juan: You sure? Me: Yea it's for Survivor, and I'll will just go buy more porn later. Juan: Shut up stupid. I seriously need to find a place that has reality addicts annoymous

Britney No!

Just when you think Britney can't get anymore white trash, she does... Britney apologizes to Paris for dissing Tinkerbell So now im waiting for Britney to officially join the B-Listers with a reality show.

I'm gonna be famous....

Ok well maybe not just yet...but I got this in a PM today over at therealworldaustin.com...this is freakin awesome!!! Hello, I'm working on an article for the Austin American-Statesman about the "Real World" in Austin ... the piece is scheduled to run during SXSW. I saw your name all over realworldaustin.com and wondered if you would be willing to talk with me about your experiences? Your blog is awesome, too. Loved the Coral sigtings. I think I would have tried to keep the glass Give me a call -- or e-mail me -- if you are willing to participate in this story. I talked to Lucy earlier today, and she said she was willing to participate. I would love to have your involvement. Might be fun for both of you to be in the newspaper. Diane XXXXXXXX Television Critic Austin American-Statesman 512-xxx-xxxx

Two weeks.

Two weeks til by South by Southwest... Two weeks til Adam comes...

Afterglow.

The amazement that was friday night, has begun to wear off, but the increase of traffic to my blog has dramatically increased. Have I used my encounter with a mini celebrity to pimp my blog? hell yeah!!! well whoever you guys are that are reading, come back, get a cup of hot tea and enjoy yourself.