Sunday, April 30, 2006

Drawing a line in the sand.

Meet Sean Little. 27, handsome and a successful marketer for a company in South Dallas. We met several months ago at Rain while I was having Happy Hour drinks. I was in the middle of a conversation when Sean came up to me and said, "Velvetsaje?". I paused because it's embarassing and humbling when someone says the name of your online alter ego in public. I look at my co-workers and we share this newly invented, "He knows me from Myspace" look. The co-workers go back to the conversation and I say to Sean, "Its Santiago actually" and I extend my hand out to shake his. He smiles and says, "Sean Little. It's so good to finally meet you!" I'm to flabbergasted to pay attention to anything else he is saying because I begin thinking, 'wow he's cute'. That thought was quickly broken when Sean drops the bomb, "I'm a fan of your blog, or what you call 'Constant Reader'. He did this whole "quote, unquote" thing and I think 'he has nice hands'. I begin to laugh and since I have only like 10(give or take a few) Constant Readers, I immediately engage in a conversation with Sean. I have to admit I did think to myself, 'Oh my god, I'm like a mini-delebrity in training'. So Sean and I talked for a bit and he told me about his fabulous job in South Dallas(Reason #1 that he is undateable) and how he thinks I could turn my blog into a book. Then I discover that Sean has to get back to his hotel because his boyfriend was waiting for him(...and Reason #2). Now everytime Sean is in town we have lunch or dinner and just catch up. It's an interesting friendship that pretty much came out of now where. I like Sean, his humor is close to mine and he can be even wittier than I am, now if we could just get rid of that whole boyfriend thing. That's probably highly unlikely because Sean is dating a Dellionare(you know those people who bough Dell's stock when the company was young and are now filthy rich) named Mike Jair and they are both pretty well off. From what I could tell they were both really happy together. That all changed last week when I got a call from Sean, "Santi he kicked me out and I don't know what to do?" he says. "Why?" I ask generically not really knowing what to say. "I don't know. We were fighting and then he said he wanted me out by five." I was so surprised that I didn't say anything and then he left to go play golf. "Have you talked to him since?" "No he won't answer his phone and I think he is serious this time. He was more pissed at me than he was last time." "There was a last time?!" I shouted. I don't know if it was the fact that I don't deal with bullshit or the fact that Sean was allowing this to happen. "Yea when he hit me. I told you about that". "Now Sean Stuart Little, you didn't tell me about this. I would have remembered something like that. I'm not that dumb." The was a short pause and then he says, "I just don't know what to do. I love him" Yea he so went there. I say, "Gurl. He hit you and now he's kicking you out and all you can say is that 'you love him' Are you out of your mind? You're not one of those 'he hits me because he loves me' type of guys are you?" "It's just hard, I don't think you understand". Boy do I understand how hard it is. It took six grueling months to break up with Ex #1(who never hit me, fyi). So I know how hard it is to break up with someone. How hard it is to break the habit of constantly missing someone who you know ain't coming back. "Sean seriously you need to draw a line in the sand with the about of BS you choose to put up with, or else he's going to keep doing this to you." "I know," he says. Damn right, you better know. He calls me back around 9 and let's me know they worked things out. I hung up the phone and begin to think, 'how much bullshit did I put up with until I was fed up with Ex #1?' and 'Would I ever do that again?'. I have another friend going through a very bad divorce and I just don't know what to tell him. One day his wife woke up and said she was tired of the relationship and wanted to end it as easily as possible. Now tell me if I'm wrong but ending a 5 year relationship as easily is possible is kinda an oxymoron if you ask me. I mean don't you think that maybe you would have thought about that before you had a expsensive wedding? The only advice I have for this friend is to drawn a line in the sand with the BS he is going to put up from his soon to be ex wife. I hope that maybe just maybe the friend and Sean take atleast some of my advice.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

thats very good advice Santi and thanks for all the reading i get to do today....

tracy

5/01/2006 05:54:00 PM  
Blogger velvetsaje said...

oh gurl you know I do it for you...my #1 fan.

When I'm a Celebrity...I'm so going to make you my 'phone a friend'

lol...tee oh the AH.

5/02/2006 02:48:00 AM  

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