Monday, May 30, 2005

Memorial Day Madness.

It's Monday, I'm here at work while everyone else is bar b queing or at the lake or doing some recreational. It sucks, but on the bright side of things, I don't have to work anymore holidays this year. My legs are sore from bike riding all weekend, and dancing my ass off with: adrain*luis*bob*will*rocio*rocio's man*emma*tim*rigo*aaron*nick*hottie boy daniel*asshole from Miami tim*carson*lynn*lizette*jessica*raj, yes it was another exciting evening at Rainbow Cattle Co. The rain almost stopped me from going out, but then again it takes alot to stop me from going out. I ran into Jay last night, he has a man now, which is to bad for me. It's cool though cause he kept looking at me all night, and he loves the new do. I also ran into Ex #3, who apparently is bipolar when it comes to me. Sometimes he's all happy to see me and then he's very distant, wtfever that means I don't know. I Finally saw Episode III yesterday with RT, and I must say that it was nicely packaged and I walked away completely fulfilled and happy that it all came together in the end. Seeing Darth Vadar being created was amazing. I wanted to thank JR as well for getting me two items from the current Real World Austin garage sale. They will be greatly appreciated for years to come.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Restless

Ok ok I know in the last post I said to have a good weekend but I wanted to add these lyrics, because well just read on. "I've been put down, pushed around, every hand even led down town. An' I can't help it if I'm out of sight,' Cause I'm restless tonight. I just can't stand bein' alone. Gonna have to change that some day. Get a restless feelin' in my bones an' I know, That at times, it just won't go away. " ~Allison Krause

Friday Night Barhopping.

I must say that yesterday night was the craziest yet calmest Friday, that I've had in a very long time. Emma picked me up around 12(after telling me to be ready by 10:30 and then telling me to be ready by 11:15....it's cool girl. I got your number, cause next time you give me a time, I'm going to give myself 45 extra minutes). When we got down to 6th Street, we decided to head over to The Aquarium to meet the Random(Carson) from Wednesday night and on our way there I was explaining to Emma how I didn't think things with Carson would go anywhere because I thought he was a bit of an alcoholic(and trust me this is one of those times where people aren't going to say "yea your one to talk") and my point was quickly proven after we had decided to leave the Aquarium and Carson wanted to have just one more drink. The Aquarium really sucked, and I mean that in the best way possible, because I just don't understand why people want to go into a bar and be so pushed up against each other(in a bad way). Thank god we decided to go meet up with some of Emma's friends at the newly opened Glass(and we also got rid of Carson). The place was really nice and relaxing and a complete switched from the travesty that was The Aquarium. Emma's friends seemed really nice, but after one beer we were on our way to check out the new gay club, Fabric. Well I don't know who cut that piece of cloth, but the place was really dead and it appeared that it wouldn't be around for very much longer. (Was it bad of me to make that horrible joke about cloth of all things? I mean come on! Cloth!?!?) So the next point in the night had us at Halcyon for 2.00 wells but that order was quickly changed to Apple Martinis and let me tell you, I have never been happier to spend 4.00 on any drink of any kind, on any day. We quickly downed our Martinis and headed over to Rain to meet Adrian and Co. As we were walking in we ran into them, along with William(who I haven't seen in awhile) and Rocio(Who I haven't seen in a really long while) and they were all headed over to Fabric. Emma and I quickly tried to warn them of what to expect but they didn't listen so Emma and I ordered another round and then did our rounds at the bar. As we were doing we ran into Carson again and quickly ditched him, again. Then we ran into Dan, who has recently moved to Austin. I still can't figure him out and would actually like to sit down and talk to him for a bit. Maybe the next time I see him I'll ask if he wants to meet for lunch or something, but not a date. It will be a 'I want to pick your brain' type of thing, and I swear I won't mention reality TV once. Dan and I talked for a bit and it was the same as last time. That's cool, nothing lost. This is were Carson leeched himself onto us and I quickly got annoyed. Emma when you read this, I swear 'NEVER AGAIN'. ....well it's raining today and AL is sitting in my apartment waiting for me to ride him(please get your mind out of the gutter ladies and gentlemen) and I can't because I'm here at work and the weather is crap. I hope tomorrow shapes up to be a better day because I really want to take him for a spin. That is all, enjoy your weekend and try and get out and enjoy Austin(or wherever it is you live)

Friday, May 27, 2005

Carrie Bradshaw, I'm not.

I was going to write this huge post but it wouldn't come out right. Actually I wrote the title first and seeing that I'm not going to write a very long post, the title is actually fitting. (That's a funny little bit irony if you ask me) So in response to the comment from my last post, first of all I loved the little double entendres hidden in there(you meant to do that right?). Well the bike is absolutely lovely, his name is Al and he's silver and hot. I had such a bad ass time with him downtown last night and I even praticed one your tips and flipped someone off. Job #2 is officially over with and I do believe I've shed that skin and will never be returning there ever again. Sorry guys, I just can't do it anymore. That is all, enjoy your weekend, get out and ride a bike or something!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

The one that didn't have a title.

(I stole that from Christopher, hope he doesn't mind ;-) ) I've been trying to write something all week but nothing would come out, I don't think it was writer's block I just think it was blogger's block(yes I coined a new term, get over it). Well I've done something huge to the site(if u haven't noticed Version 2.0 is up and running with much thanx to Jaime and his HTML saviness). I've also changed something personally, my hair is long gone(god bless it's soul), yes that's right I'm all Army Sheik right now. And finally, I will be walking into job # 2, asking to be let go and walking out a happier man. So let's talk about this week in general. I'm getting some wheels today(ha! I bet you thought I was going to talk about a car or motorcyle, but nope I'm getting a bicycle because my lovely job #1 will be about 5 minutes from my house in a week and a half, and I'm on this whole reinvention kick). I went out last night with Emma and Jeff again and we met up with the lovely Cathrine(a.k.a catrina, real world austin) and Jesse(a.k.a lipglossavenger, real world austin), it was great because we had all chatted online and finally got a chance to get together and have a few drinks. I really like those guys even though we met under some bizzare circumstances, but that's life right? Afterwards, Emma, Jeff and I went over to Charlie's to meet up with another online friend(this is kinda scary me now, too). So we get to Charlie's and meet Youthquake(a.k.a Ric), Youth and I actually meant last year when I joined the big brother message board, and have talked since. That was a fun experience, and my head hurts a little today due to that. Well I'm off of work at 3:30 and I have a bicycle to purchase(does anyone know the hand movements for left and right?) and to end on a light note, I was a bad bad bad boy last night ;-) -------------->it's been awhile ok!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Version 2.0

So what do you think? p.s. Thanks Jaime!

Monday, May 23, 2005

It isn't easy.

I bought this shirt last week in Fort Worth that says "It's not easy, being easy". Now contrary to a common belief, I am in no way shape or form a man-ho. Those days were reserved for my early homosexual years circa 19-20. Well after a long extended weekend that included a friday night with SD, RT and Blane, not to mention my str8(or is he?) neighbor Matt and then there was a fun saturday with my boo Jenny(who just graduated from UT. Go! Jenny, even though u may never read this because you are against computers and technology and you love rocks and nature, etc etc). Bob was there also and well I don't have to say much about Bob because as most of you know, Bob is the best and craziest mofo that i know. Well I spent my Sunday at home being a lard ass and doing nothing. Did anyone catch Desperate Housewives? I was forced to watch it because they weren't showing Family Guy this week(WTF, FOX? You give us three episodes and then take our precious Family Guy away, I swear for each week that you don't show Family Guy, I shall kill you-not really, that was a Family Guy Reference for those of you not on the up and up). Adrain called me around 10 wanting to go out(which I was totally against because I couldnt spend another night drinking), but then I thought to myself, 'hey I can go out and not drink' and believe you me, this was by far the most fun that I have ever had in a very long and sober time. With an exception, that shirt I was talking about earlier, yea well I decided to wear it out last night and it had one of two effects on people. Some guys would look at me with that Raunchy look in there eyes and the others would think that I was a hoe. Now I personally don't care what people think about me because I know who I am and what I do. But damn it that shirt was cute and now I don't think it's that cute-wait who the heck am I kidding I still love that shirt. I danced the whole night with Adrain, Luis, Emma, and Jeff. It was such a good time, I also gave this boy I've known for awhile my number, not so much as I want to date him, but more like I would consider the possibilty if he takes the first step(yes I'm a bitch like that). The night ended with some Tortas at La Mexicana Restaraunt, and a new found confidence that it may not be easy going out being sober, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun! Oh yea. Like I predicted, it's going to be a Sergio Mora/Peter Manfredo Match Up for tommorow's Live 'The Contender' Finale Bout...I can't wait! (PSSST... I have my money on Mora)

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Martin Luther Queen, where are you?

Jaime sent me this today...and it pissed me off. I mean PISSED ME OFF. _www.lgrl.org_ (http://www.lgrl.org)Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment Passes SenateHurtful Legislation Will Weaken Legal Agreements in TexasMay 21, 2005 Contact: Heath Riddles For Immediate Release 512.474.5475AUSTIN, TX- A historically dangerous and discriminatory constitutionalamendment is headed to Texas voters. The Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment (HJR 6)passed the Texas Senate this afernoon. The amendment was approved by a voteof 21 to 8, narrowly meeting the two-thirds majority required.Upon approval by the Senate, the amendment is now cleared to appear on astatewide ballot this November. This will mark the first time in history that aminority group would be singled out in the Texas Constitution to be deniedequal treatment. Constitutions are historically treated as sacred documents,designed to preserve rights and ensure equality for all.Randall Ellis, Executive Director of the Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby of Texas,says the amendment is dangerous. "This amendment is devastating to thousandsof Texas families, gay and straight alike," Ellis said. "Domestic partnerbenefits, powers of attorney, and even common law marriage will be called intoquestion by this amendment. These are consequences that are supposedlyunintended, according to the amendment's authors. But this is clearly adiscriminatory act, designed to strike at our community at its fundamental level: ourfamilies. The Legislature is obviously willing to sacrifice all Texas familiesfor this unjust agenda of intolerance and discrimination."Marriage affords hundreds of legal rights, responsibilities and obligations,including the ability to visit a spouse in the hospital, social securitybenefits, second parent adoptions and many more. These are denied to thousandsof loving, committed gay and lesbian couples across Texas, many of them raisingfamilies of their own.This amendment would, in effect, solidify LGBT Texans' status as second-classcitizens.Senators Barrientos, Ellis, Hinojosa, Shapleigh, Van de Putte, West, Whitmireand Zaffirini voted against the Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment. Why won't they just leave us alone and be like everyone else?

Friday, May 20, 2005

And I got Board

Ok so on RWA someone hacked into the boards and jacked everything up. Us overly obsessed fans came up with an idea and that's when The Misadventures of Me Message Board was born. So for those of u who wanna chat, feel free to join...it's gonna be nice....atleast for now....

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Oh how my day spins.

My bottle of water spilt in my bag, my journal looks tattered now-which is cool. Drinking a Carmel Moch Frappucino from Starbucks quickly is bad for your tummy. A bum tried to sell me one of those AOL cd's for 2.00 and a cigarette, I gave him the cigarette. That is all continue with you daily grind.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I have a confession, pt. 3

I don't know why I keep writing these "I have a confession" posts cause in essense, everything I write on here is a confession of sorts, but after writing that long drawn tale about Britney Spears of all people, I've decide that 'hey I need to write about my favoriate subject....Me!!!' So this is my current confession: As some of you may know I have this obsession(and no this one has nothing to do with Reality TV, at all. So rest assured, take a seat and breath), well this obsession has to do with Pop music once again, I've mentioned it before in the first confession but this time I've chosen to go a little deeper. You see yesterday I went to Wal-Mart(or as my people like to call it "El Wall Mard") and purchased somethings for my apartment and then I passed by the CD's and decided "ok it's cheesy pop music time", so I rifled through the CD's wondering which god awful pop cd I was going to purchase and I finally decided on Jesse McCartney, yes ladies and gentlemen I did it, I bought the CD(actually its in the computer right now, playing "she's no you, oh no") and I'm not ashamed to admit it at all. So there I said it, and what? Other Cd's that I have purchased as a part of my cheesy pop music collection: Ashlee Simpson Vanessa Carlton(I like her sound piano and all) Fantascia A-Teens(I own all 3 of their albums) O-Town(both of their crappy releases, not to mention the mixed cd of theirs I have) Backstreet Boys(yes I have their new cd, don't ask why or how, I just have it ok) But before I dig myself into a very very deep hole I want to emphasize that this is not the only kind of music I listen to, I am very fond of the following: Indigo Girls Sarah Mclachlan Tracy Chapman Garbage Allison Krause(if you count liking two of her songs, has anyone heard 'Restless' yet?) So I hope in some way this makes up for my love for cheesy pop music. Why I wrote about this you ask? I bet you're probably scratching your head right now, well I am too(and no it's not because I have lice it's because my head itches), I wrote this because I was bored and I felt this need to write, something if anything and this unfortunately was the word vomit that came out. That is all, carry on with your normal daily duties. I'm out.

Chaotic.

I originally set out to write a piece about the current season ending of reality TV and my take on everything. Well Rob and Amber got 2nd on The Amazing Race, after lying, stealing and cheating to get there. I guess nice guys finish first this time around. I still believe the final leg of the Race was rigged only to push for the Rob and Amber wedding(Coming to you thanks to CBS this May 24th). But I'm out numbered so I won't even go there. Oh and I'm not done yet... On the 2 hour finale of Survivor, we finally saw another final 4 deadlocked tie(the last one would be Survivor: Marquesas, when poor Paschal took the purple rock), another player quit the game only to hand over his final 2 spot to a friend(man if my friends handed me the option to win a million or 125,000.00 I'd love them forever!). Many people have been debating on whether or not Ian was an idiot for quitting or if the friendships he developed during the game where worth more than the million, I'm going with the latter and let's leave it at that. Kendra and Tana are in the final two for this year's Apprentice. Kendra has this won without a doubt and why Donald Trump decided that he should push the final two for 3 weeks is beyond me. Who smells a ratings slump?!?! And let's not forget the forthcoming 'The Apprentice: Martha Stewart", cause we all know that's going to be a ratings hit. The Contender will be over next Tuesday, and sadly from what I've read it won't return for a 2nd round(nice pun, huh?). The final bout should be interesting, I have my money on a Peter Manfredo/Sergio "The Latin Snake" match-up, but Jesse Brinkley may get another knock out this coming Sunday, we'll see. And before I move on the train wreck that is the Inferno II continues this week, with a busted ear, a shaved head and the devil vs. the mormon for next week's Inferno, I can't wait! Ok...wow that wasn't supposed to be the piece, the point of this post was this: Ms. Britney Spears has gone where no Pop Star has gone before(less we forget Madonna's Truth or Dare circa early 90's). When I first tuned into "Chaotic", I noticed that UPN's new slogan was "All eyes are on UPN". Ummm yea about that UPN, you may want to fire your marketing director because in case you haven't noticed, not very many eyes were on UPN until last night. Unless of course if you count the viewers watching America's next Top Model(has anyone seen that clip where Tyra is all "We were rooting for you! We all were rooting for you!"-who smells an Emmy?!?), but other than that no one really watches UPN. Ok back to my point because I could go on for days about nothing really, so yea we open up Britney's documentary with her talking about love and marriage and blah blah blah bitch please STFU. I didn't know that the show would take us all the way back to last year, pre-foot injury, pre-media backlash, pre-Kevin Ferdinline, and pre-white trash baby named Dockett(that's what I think the child's name should be, why you ask...well I honestly don't know, that was the first name that I spit out and I'm running with it). So we go back to the days before Britney became a Sugar Momma, yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, Britney paid for Kevin to fly to Europe and be her bitch while she went on the road. From the looks of this first episode Kevin is merely along for the free ride that Britney has to offer. Also, Britney's bouncer(who I will call Brutus, read Dockett above) isn't happy about Kevin being there and it looks like some drama is brewing. I love this cause Britney is filming all of this without 800 mics behind her and a production lady handing out waivers(I got way into The Real World Austin's production process), so its all natural with motion sickness included. I will sadly admit(though some won't be surprised at all) that I am going to continue watching this train wreck(according to the previews Kevin and Brutus get into it, imagine if you will Britney yelling "We were rooting for you, We were all rooting for you!", wait wrong show, nevermind). So I leave you with my favoriate quote from Ms. Spears that she gave to us last night after Kevin had been in Europe for a few days: Britney: What do you want to do today? Kevin: I dunno. Britney: Let's just __________ all day...and ya ok? Kevin: You know I'm down for that idea... What was the __________ exactly? Well I guess we as viewers could be the judge but I'm guessin the word rhymes with duck, and that's that.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Fort Worth

It had its down moments, and then I had my ups. Seeing my mom wasn't as hard as I expected and I've made my peace with her, and let that portion of my life go. That demon has been laid to rest and for once, I feel as if that burden has been lifted from my shoulders, even if it is for a brief moment. I forgot how much my friends back home, are like family to me. I realized that yesterday morning when my bestfriend's mom was making breakfast. They are my family even if blood isn't involved. They are more family than the actual family I have over there and for that I will be eternally grateful. I've also realized that there is no point ignoring them because of how bad fort worth makes me feel, they made that place feel like home again, and now when people ask me where I'm from, I won't say Austin anymore. I've also discovered that I look flawless in orange. I'm a longhorn by choice i guess. p.s. I have this new confidence, mostly because of my friends back home, that I can accomplish anything that I want. I can predict that this summer is going to be one to go down in the history books.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Coming Soon.

Fort Worth this weekend...expect something juicy come monday!

Monday, May 09, 2005

A Sunday night on the prowl.

So yes I had yet another encounter with an ex real worlder. Remember I told you that he was in town? Well last night after a weekend filled with SD and RT, and some manwitches my friend Emma called me wanting to go out. I was not having it because I was so exhausted from the weekend but after Emma bribed me with a few drinks, I caved in. We managed to get our friend Jeff to come out with us too, and I had told my friend Raul, that if I went out I would meet up with him at some point. Well since the current Real Worlders(click here for a news paper article about them plus some really good pics.) are slated to leave this week, Emma really wanted to go to 6th street to see if we could get one final glimpse of them. I've already had my encounter with them on the bus, so I wasn't as excited as she was. We headed to 6th street in hopes of seeing something if anything. But alas we didn't see the cast so we headed to the warehouse district to meet up with Jeff and Raul. As we were standing outside of Rain, waiting for Jeff we spot Dan Renzi. He was like 2 or 3 feet away from us and Emma tried to get me to talk to him and I didn't want to cause I'd seem like a groupie, well as we were talking Dan asked us how we were doing and I instantly hit convo-santi mode and sparked up a conversation with him. Well after about 5 minutes of talking and me giving him advice on the good places to eat in Austin, he left to go check out Kat'z(cause ya know it never closes) and Emma, Jeff and I went into Rain. Raul and his boyfriend Lupez were inside so we just sat on the couches and talked and drank and talked and drank and talked and...well ya get the point. Now mind you, this is the first time I've met Raul in person, I've only talked to him on the Real World Message Boards, and I'm a fan of his live journal. Emma had just met Jeff that night(Jeff and I met during the Big Brother casting call). So here we where 4 strangers with one thing in common(wanna guess what?) and we were all talking and hanging out as if we had been friends for awhile now. Again to me it's so wierd how my life plays out like that. Well after awhile we decided to head over to Oilcan's for a bit but it was deader than I've ever seen that place, so back to Rain it was and guess who was back from eating? This time I approached him and we talked for awhile but this is where my opinion of Dan gets kind of slanted. It appeared that once he was bored of a conversation with someone he would just fade out or not pay attention at all. He didn't do this to me(cause I mean really who ignores me?) but I saw him to it to quite a few people. The other odd bizarre thing about him was that it appeared that he wanted to be noticed he wanted people to say "hey aren't you Dan?", which makes no sense to me at all because he would fade out of the conversations so quickly. I'm still undecided what to think about him cause I'm such a fan. Well after we all were done with Rain, we decided to go pass by the house and well that's when things got a lil crazy. I stood back and let Jeff and Lupez be crazy, but it was fun none the less. Jeff knocked on the door(well knocked is a bit of an understatement, cause it was LOUD), and Lupez took a souvenir with him from the house. I won't mention what exactly was taken but it's quite funny and I'm sure it would make a great sell on Ebay. We took alot of pictures and once Raul sends them to be I'll be sure to post them. So well ya, that's yet another misadventure....

Friday, May 06, 2005

Adam Revisted.

So guess who I talked to last night. yea it was filled with a mouth full of apologies, and if he had a blogger it would be way more interesting than mine(and trust me that's saying alot) And again, oh well it was his loss not mine right?

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Letters to a young poet.

Jaime bought me this book 2 christmas's ago and I barely picked it up 2 months ago. In my current mood, I found this passage and thought to use it as a point of motivation. "-I know, your profession is hard and full of contradiction of yourself, and I foresaw your complaint and knew that it would come. Now that it has come, I cannot comfort you, I can only advise you to consider whether all professions are not like that, full of demands, full of enmity against the individual, saturated as it were with the hatred of those who have found themselves mute and sullen in a humdrum duty. The situation in which you now have to live is no more heavily laden with conventions, prejudices and mistakes than all the other situations, and if there are some the feign a greater freedom, still there is none that is in itself broad and spacious and in contact with the big things of which real living consists. Only the individual who is solitary is like a thing placed under profound laws, and when he goes out into the morning that is just beginning, or looks out into the evening that is full of happening, and if he feels what is going on there, then all status drops from him as from a dead man, though he stands in the midsts of sheer life. ...you would have felt just the same in any established professions; yes, even if, outside of any position, you had merely sought some ligh and independen contact with society, this feeling of constraint would not have been spared you.-It is so everywhere; but that is no reason for fear or sorrow; if there is nothing in common between you and other people, try being close to things, they will not desert you; ..everything is still full of happening, in which you may participate."-Rainer Rilke

StUcK in A RuT

Do you ever get that feeling when so much is going on in your life, yet your not actually moving forward? I've had that feeling lately, I don't know what it is exactly. Maybe it's just that I'm so sick of job # 2 that it's gotten to the point of intolerability(is that a word?). I loathe that place, and each time I go in there, I swear to myself that I'm going to walk into my managers office and announce that I have quit, done, fineto. ...and each night I leave, regretting the fact that I didn't have the balls to walk away from that place. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with ex #1, with each fight, each lie, each manipulation; I'd swear I was done with it and I was going to walk away, and then I'd come back with tail between my legs, begging for more. I want something new and exciting to happen in my life. It's as if I'm waiting for that starting point where I can feel like I'm really truly honestly living and not going by a monotonous day by day pattern. There are a few sparks here and there that have happened since the new year began which you have read about but to me that still isn't enough. I need motivation, to step it up a notch. I need motivation, to believe in myself. I need motivation, to shed this skin I need motivation, to finally start living life to it's full potential. I've signed up with Third Coast Casting to do some extra work, amongst other things. We'll see. No word from BB, so it doesn't look like I'm going to be living in a camera filled two story house this summer. I have summer school coming up, which should be a good release for this unused energy. ...There will be more random thoughts coming today...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Let's talk about Denver

Finally updated with Chapter 5. but please don't forget about this. enjoy!

Response

Since I apparently only have 3 readers :-), here's my response to Christopher's questions. Enjoy! 1) Kinkiest thing you ever did with a member of the same sex? An ex(who shall remain number less) and I got down and dirty on top of Mount Benol(It's one of the greatest spots here in Austin, where you can see the whole city) 2) Ultimate personal fashion mistake? Fashion isn't my forte, so to some I'm a walking fashion mistake. The worst mistake that I think I've ever made was purchasing this western shirt @ Express(for Men...Of course), at the time the purchase it seemed like a good idea at the time, but once I got home and actually looked @ the shirt I was horrified. It's a good thing no one saw me in that shirt. 3) Whose DNA would you extract to gain the perfect 1) mind, 2) face, 3) body? 1. I'm actually quite content with my own mind. 2. Gael Garcia Bernal, that man has the cutest eyes and complexion I have ever seen. 3. Christopher Knight(Surreal Life 4) cause I wanna look that good when I'm 50. If you still wanna comment, feel free to!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

If You have something to say....

Then just say it! Ok so here's the deal, I want to hear feedback from ya'll. Things ya'll don't like, things you do, things you'd like for me to elaborate on. This is going to require active reader participation, so please put down the fork and learn how to type. :-) any comments/suggestions/or scandalous stories about me would be greatly appreciated :-) if no one responds, I fear I may never post again.... yea fucking right! just participate, thanx!

It's Tuesday.

I'm @ school getting things ready for the summer. It's a scary odd feeling, being back in this building. I'm ready to take this step, one more time(third time's the charm right?) There's this cute boy, whose checking me out. I can't wait to come back... for my education of course.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Oh the webs we weave...

I met Eric Eric's bestfriend is ex #1 Ex #1 bestfriend used to Jaime. Jaime is now my bestfriend. Jaime's old bestfriend was Ricky, Ricky slept with Stephen, Stephen is ex #2 bestfriend now my exes are dating. Through Eric and this crazy web, Stephen's other friend Jacob, dated Walter. Walter is now good friends with Levon, Levon is Eric's boyfriend. Levon is getting the same degree as ex #3. ex #3 then cheated on me with Alexander. ex #2 knows Alexander. Alexander is friends with Alfonso, I've dated Alfonso. Alfonso also dated Jose, I dated Jose. who once dated locke who slept with Jd, who was ex #1's old roomate. it's funny how it just spins and strings along together, isn't it?

Austin's simple pleasures.

I've recently noticed, as I always do that my day to day life in the city is forever changing shape, reforming and then back again. I love that about my life, it's so sparatic. SD says it's cause im in my 20's and he's probably right, but what the hell im enjoying ever minute of it(well MOST of the time). So Saturday night was an enjoyable evening with the crazy ass people I work with at job # 2. It's never a dull moment with that crowd, it was interesting to see this one person(who will now be referred to as BB). Well BB was lurking around the different crowds at the party, and just absorbing information. It's going to be interesting to see what is spilt out of that mouth. I also found it quite amusing that certian people who think they are the center of attention, were so everly cleverly ignored. Sunday was yet again a roller coaster. SD, my sister and I went to the Pecan street festival. I've never been there, and once again I've fallen in love with this city. There's this spot where I was standing yesterday looking at the Frost Building and thinking "When is the next time I'm going to be in this exact spot, surrounded by so many people all having a good time and looking at one of the most beautiful buildings i've ever seen"-im such the philospher. The Contender was yet again a good episode, I really do hate it when I want to cry for the fighters at the end of each episode. I was a little upset that I missed the return of family guy, but Jaime has a copy and that's what I'll be doing tonight(with a nice bowl of super fattening ice cream-cause im fat). Jenny, Bobby(her beau) and Juan came over for a marathon of Mario Kart, I don't remember passing out, but apprently I did at some point, with Survivor: All Stars on the dvd player. Somone please rescue me from singledom!!! Onto other interesting news.... He's in town for a play!!! I emailed him today to find out where the play is showing at...who knows maybe I'll get to meet him!! We'll see.
it's been awhile ok!|W|P|111713945616773913|W|P|The one that didn't have a title.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/26/2005 10:10:00 PM|W|P|Blogger roadbicicylist|W|P|Hmmm.. what kind of bike you buy? Want to ride mine? lol Let's go riding one of these day's, I'll be easy on you, seriously :)

About bicycle turn signals; Left = stretch out your left arm to shoulder level, with fingers pointing left. Right = again left arm, but now you bend upwards at elbow, with fingers pointing upwards.

Or just do what I do for right hand signaling, raise my arm and shot the finger right lol.

Let me know about your new bike.

Roadbicyclist5/27/2005 12:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|he he that's funny!6/03/2005 03:30:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Hey, I loved meeting you guys too! I'm finally not creeped out to meet internet people...we're all ok! LMAO - love ya!

~Catherine6/03/2005 03:33:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|it's cause i <3 ur noobs!!5/25/2005 10:17:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So what do you think? p.s. Thanks Jaime!|W|P|111707748649731810|W|P|Version 2.0|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/23/2005 01:30:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I bought this shirt last week in Fort Worth that says "It's not easy, being easy". Now contrary to a common belief, I am in no way shape or form a man-ho. Those days were reserved for my early homosexual years circa 19-20. Well after a long extended weekend that included a friday night with SD, RT and Blane, not to mention my str8(or is he?) neighbor Matt and then there was a fun saturday with my boo Jenny(who just graduated from UT. Go! Jenny, even though u may never read this because you are against computers and technology and you love rocks and nature, etc etc). Bob was there also and well I don't have to say much about Bob because as most of you know, Bob is the best and craziest mofo that i know. Well I spent my Sunday at home being a lard ass and doing nothing. Did anyone catch Desperate Housewives? I was forced to watch it because they weren't showing Family Guy this week(WTF, FOX? You give us three episodes and then take our precious Family Guy away, I swear for each week that you don't show Family Guy, I shall kill you-not really, that was a Family Guy Reference for those of you not on the up and up). Adrain called me around 10 wanting to go out(which I was totally against because I couldnt spend another night drinking), but then I thought to myself, 'hey I can go out and not drink' and believe you me, this was by far the most fun that I have ever had in a very long and sober time. With an exception, that shirt I was talking about earlier, yea well I decided to wear it out last night and it had one of two effects on people. Some guys would look at me with that Raunchy look in there eyes and the others would think that I was a hoe. Now I personally don't care what people think about me because I know who I am and what I do. But damn it that shirt was cute and now I don't think it's that cute-wait who the heck am I kidding I still love that shirt. I danced the whole night with Adrain, Luis, Emma, and Jeff. It was such a good time, I also gave this boy I've known for awhile my number, not so much as I want to date him, but more like I would consider the possibilty if he takes the first step(yes I'm a bitch like that). The night ended with some Tortas at La Mexicana Restaraunt, and a new found confidence that it may not be easy going out being sober, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun! Oh yea. Like I predicted, it's going to be a Sergio Mora/Peter Manfredo Match Up for tommorow's Live 'The Contender' Finale Bout...I can't wait! (PSSST... I have my money on Mora)|W|P|111687305224485451|W|P|It isn't easy.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/21/2005 06:13:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Jaime sent me this today...and it pissed me off. I mean PISSED ME OFF. _www.lgrl.org_ (http://www.lgrl.org)Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment Passes SenateHurtful Legislation Will Weaken Legal Agreements in TexasMay 21, 2005 Contact: Heath Riddles For Immediate Release 512.474.5475AUSTIN, TX- A historically dangerous and discriminatory constitutionalamendment is headed to Texas voters. The Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment (HJR 6)passed the Texas Senate this afernoon. The amendment was approved by a voteof 21 to 8, narrowly meeting the two-thirds majority required.Upon approval by the Senate, the amendment is now cleared to appear on astatewide ballot this November. This will mark the first time in history that aminority group would be singled out in the Texas Constitution to be deniedequal treatment. Constitutions are historically treated as sacred documents,designed to preserve rights and ensure equality for all.Randall Ellis, Executive Director of the Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby of Texas,says the amendment is dangerous. "This amendment is devastating to thousandsof Texas families, gay and straight alike," Ellis said. "Domestic partnerbenefits, powers of attorney, and even common law marriage will be called intoquestion by this amendment. These are consequences that are supposedlyunintended, according to the amendment's authors. But this is clearly adiscriminatory act, designed to strike at our community at its fundamental level: ourfamilies. The Legislature is obviously willing to sacrifice all Texas familiesfor this unjust agenda of intolerance and discrimination."Marriage affords hundreds of legal rights, responsibilities and obligations,including the ability to visit a spouse in the hospital, social securitybenefits, second parent adoptions and many more. These are denied to thousandsof loving, committed gay and lesbian couples across Texas, many of them raisingfamilies of their own.This amendment would, in effect, solidify LGBT Texans' status as second-classcitizens.Senators Barrientos, Ellis, Hinojosa, Shapleigh, Van de Putte, West, Whitmireand Zaffirini voted against the Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment. Why won't they just leave us alone and be like everyone else?|W|P|111671731412231987|W|P|Martin Luther Queen, where are you?|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/22/2005 03:54:00 PM|W|P|Blogger cheshire cat|W|P|Because it's a very successful political strategy to cause conflicts among people, promise and call off,to care of constant confusion in generall.5/20/2005 02:22:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Ok so on RWA someone hacked into the boards and jacked everything up. Us overly obsessed fans came up with an idea and that's when The Misadventures of Me Message Board was born. So for those of u who wanna chat, feel free to join...it's gonna be nice....atleast for now....|W|P|111661707295765078|W|P|And I got Board|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/25/2005 08:54:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|FUCK OFF PUNK!5/19/2005 04:34:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|My bottle of water spilt in my bag, my journal looks tattered now-which is cool. Drinking a Carmel Moch Frappucino from Starbucks quickly is bad for your tummy. A bum tried to sell me one of those AOL cd's for 2.00 and a cigarette, I gave him the cigarette. That is all continue with you daily grind.|W|P|111653858697413013|W|P|Oh how my day spins.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 02:59:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I don't know why I keep writing these "I have a confession" posts cause in essense, everything I write on here is a confession of sorts, but after writing that long drawn tale about Britney Spears of all people, I've decide that 'hey I need to write about my favoriate subject....Me!!!' So this is my current confession: As some of you may know I have this obsession(and no this one has nothing to do with Reality TV, at all. So rest assured, take a seat and breath), well this obsession has to do with Pop music once again, I've mentioned it before in the first confession but this time I've chosen to go a little deeper. You see yesterday I went to Wal-Mart(or as my people like to call it "El Wall Mard") and purchased somethings for my apartment and then I passed by the CD's and decided "ok it's cheesy pop music time", so I rifled through the CD's wondering which god awful pop cd I was going to purchase and I finally decided on Jesse McCartney, yes ladies and gentlemen I did it, I bought the CD(actually its in the computer right now, playing "she's no you, oh no") and I'm not ashamed to admit it at all. So there I said it, and what? Other Cd's that I have purchased as a part of my cheesy pop music collection: Ashlee Simpson Vanessa Carlton(I like her sound piano and all) Fantascia A-Teens(I own all 3 of their albums) O-Town(both of their crappy releases, not to mention the mixed cd of theirs I have) Backstreet Boys(yes I have their new cd, don't ask why or how, I just have it ok) But before I dig myself into a very very deep hole I want to emphasize that this is not the only kind of music I listen to, I am very fond of the following: Indigo Girls Sarah Mclachlan Tracy Chapman Garbage Allison Krause(if you count liking two of her songs, has anyone heard 'Restless' yet?) So I hope in some way this makes up for my love for cheesy pop music. Why I wrote about this you ask? I bet you're probably scratching your head right now, well I am too(and no it's not because I have lice it's because my head itches), I wrote this because I was bored and I felt this need to write, something if anything and this unfortunately was the word vomit that came out. That is all, carry on with your normal daily duties. I'm out.|W|P|111644637454454176|W|P|I have a confession, pt. 3|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 09:44:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.5/18/2005 09:46:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|I knew I would have to become a blogger to talk to you...gees! No, hey kiddo it's Jessica, Susanna's bad ass M-Fin' daughter. She gave me your address and unfortunately I barfed when I saw all the bubble gum crap you listen to, but hey what can you expect. I graduate not this Saturday but next and we need to hang boy-ee! Alright I'll holla! Peace!5/18/2005 09:47:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|P.S. I deleted it cause I spelled something wrong...I'm not sure I like that it shows that...5/18/2005 09:48:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|awww jess how sweet...hey dont diss my bubble gum pop...there is other quality stuff on here!!! keep reading....(archives to the right), so u graduate soon....yay!! congrats and all that jazz.5/18/2005 12:28:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I originally set out to write a piece about the current season ending of reality TV and my take on everything. Well Rob and Amber got 2nd on The Amazing Race, after lying, stealing and cheating to get there. I guess nice guys finish first this time around. I still believe the final leg of the Race was rigged only to push for the Rob and Amber wedding(Coming to you thanks to CBS this May 24th). But I'm out numbered so I won't even go there. Oh and I'm not done yet... On the 2 hour finale of Survivor, we finally saw another final 4 deadlocked tie(the last one would be Survivor: Marquesas, when poor Paschal took the purple rock), another player quit the game only to hand over his final 2 spot to a friend(man if my friends handed me the option to win a million or 125,000.00 I'd love them forever!). Many people have been debating on whether or not Ian was an idiot for quitting or if the friendships he developed during the game where worth more than the million, I'm going with the latter and let's leave it at that. Kendra and Tana are in the final two for this year's Apprentice. Kendra has this won without a doubt and why Donald Trump decided that he should push the final two for 3 weeks is beyond me. Who smells a ratings slump?!?! And let's not forget the forthcoming 'The Apprentice: Martha Stewart", cause we all know that's going to be a ratings hit. The Contender will be over next Tuesday, and sadly from what I've read it won't return for a 2nd round(nice pun, huh?). The final bout should be interesting, I have my money on a Peter Manfredo/Sergio "The Latin Snake" match-up, but Jesse Brinkley may get another knock out this coming Sunday, we'll see. And before I move on the train wreck that is the Inferno II continues this week, with a busted ear, a shaved head and the devil vs. the mormon for next week's Inferno, I can't wait! Ok...wow that wasn't supposed to be the piece, the point of this post was this: Ms. Britney Spears has gone where no Pop Star has gone before(less we forget Madonna's Truth or Dare circa early 90's). When I first tuned into "Chaotic", I noticed that UPN's new slogan was "All eyes are on UPN". Ummm yea about that UPN, you may want to fire your marketing director because in case you haven't noticed, not very many eyes were on UPN until last night. Unless of course if you count the viewers watching America's next Top Model(has anyone seen that clip where Tyra is all "We were rooting for you! We all were rooting for you!"-who smells an Emmy?!?), but other than that no one really watches UPN. Ok back to my point because I could go on for days about nothing really, so yea we open up Britney's documentary with her talking about love and marriage and blah blah blah bitch please STFU. I didn't know that the show would take us all the way back to last year, pre-foot injury, pre-media backlash, pre-Kevin Ferdinline, and pre-white trash baby named Dockett(that's what I think the child's name should be, why you ask...well I honestly don't know, that was the first name that I spit out and I'm running with it). So we go back to the days before Britney became a Sugar Momma, yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, Britney paid for Kevin to fly to Europe and be her bitch while she went on the road. From the looks of this first episode Kevin is merely along for the free ride that Britney has to offer. Also, Britney's bouncer(who I will call Brutus, read Dockett above) isn't happy about Kevin being there and it looks like some drama is brewing. I love this cause Britney is filming all of this without 800 mics behind her and a production lady handing out waivers(I got way into The Real World Austin's production process), so its all natural with motion sickness included. I will sadly admit(though some won't be surprised at all) that I am going to continue watching this train wreck(according to the previews Kevin and Brutus get into it, imagine if you will Britney yelling "We were rooting for you, We were all rooting for you!", wait wrong show, nevermind). So I leave you with my favoriate quote from Ms. Spears that she gave to us last night after Kevin had been in Europe for a few days: Britney: What do you want to do today? Kevin: I dunno. Britney: Let's just __________ all day...and ya ok? Kevin: You know I'm down for that idea... What was the __________ exactly? Well I guess we as viewers could be the judge but I'm guessin the word rhymes with duck, and that's that.|W|P|111643735073691726|W|P|Chaotic.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 01:06:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|ohhhhh lawdy! how could u do tht to the reigning miss ICON! ... i know i know, but she was funny and entertaining.. about her going all the way back to b4 kev?? whats that .. did she have a deal b4 he was around... and brutus will get over it , it seems.. unless he doesnt need a j o b
... im still wondering why she wanted to PRE date this so early, i would only want to show the afterglow! if u follow me.. thanks for the rundown.. t5/18/2005 01:44:00 PM|W|P|Blogger homunculus|W|P|hello, god? yes this is jaime. yea it's all cleared up, how's the missus? uh huh, a cross you say.... interesting... listen god i have a favor to ask, you know those past 10 minutes i just wasted reading that post about reality tv? yea, santi again. could we just give those back to me? no ... oh... ok... i hear judaism is making a comeback.5/18/2005 01:48:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|one word:

bitch.5/17/2005 08:43:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|It had its down moments, and then I had my ups. Seeing my mom wasn't as hard as I expected and I've made my peace with her, and let that portion of my life go. That demon has been laid to rest and for once, I feel as if that burden has been lifted from my shoulders, even if it is for a brief moment. I forgot how much my friends back home, are like family to me. I realized that yesterday morning when my bestfriend's mom was making breakfast. They are my family even if blood isn't involved. They are more family than the actual family I have over there and for that I will be eternally grateful. I've also realized that there is no point ignoring them because of how bad fort worth makes me feel, they made that place feel like home again, and now when people ask me where I'm from, I won't say Austin anymore. I've also discovered that I look flawless in orange. I'm a longhorn by choice i guess. p.s. I have this new confidence, mostly because of my friends back home, that I can accomplish anything that I want. I can predict that this summer is going to be one to go down in the history books.|W|P|111638060818884466|W|P|Fort Worth|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/17/2005 09:08:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|You're such an awesome guy Santi. I love reading everything you write, you have a real gift. You always tug at my heart.

Emmie5/17/2005 10:02:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|i tug ur heart, only to rip it out and stomp on it!!!!

tee hee just kidding, thanks doll face :-)5/17/2005 11:01:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Fine bitch that's the last time Im nice to you. Come here let me poke your eyes out.

Emmie5/17/2005 11:36:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|ya know santi.. u can go home again.. staying is another issue.. i hope a great summer lies ahead for u!! thanks for sharing! ... t5/18/2005 12:27:00 AM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|omg im never moving back there. i forgot to mention i saw the first(as in the first boy i was with) this past weekend, luckily he didnt see me...raunch burger.5/18/2005 03:19:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessie|W|P|hahahaha. raunch burger...5/18/2005 03:26:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|lips,

I dont get it :-/5/13/2005 03:22:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Fort Worth this weekend...expect something juicy come monday!|W|P|111601578289491557|W|P|Coming Soon.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/16/2005 11:12:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Hurry up and write. Im waiting to hear all about your weekend.

_Emma_ aka emmie5/17/2005 04:28:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|i have the post in an email @ job #1....which i cant currently get to...dont worry it will be up tommorow, promise.5/09/2005 12:57:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So yes I had yet another encounter with an ex real worlder. Remember I told you that he was in town? Well last night after a weekend filled with SD and RT, and some manwitches my friend Emma called me wanting to go out. I was not having it because I was so exhausted from the weekend but after Emma bribed me with a few drinks, I caved in. We managed to get our friend Jeff to come out with us too, and I had told my friend Raul, that if I went out I would meet up with him at some point. Well since the current Real Worlders(click here for a news paper article about them plus some really good pics.) are slated to leave this week, Emma really wanted to go to 6th street to see if we could get one final glimpse of them. I've already had my encounter with them on the bus, so I wasn't as excited as she was. We headed to 6th street in hopes of seeing something if anything. But alas we didn't see the cast so we headed to the warehouse district to meet up with Jeff and Raul. As we were standing outside of Rain, waiting for Jeff we spot Dan Renzi. He was like 2 or 3 feet away from us and Emma tried to get me to talk to him and I didn't want to cause I'd seem like a groupie, well as we were talking Dan asked us how we were doing and I instantly hit convo-santi mode and sparked up a conversation with him. Well after about 5 minutes of talking and me giving him advice on the good places to eat in Austin, he left to go check out Kat'z(cause ya know it never closes) and Emma, Jeff and I went into Rain. Raul and his boyfriend Lupez were inside so we just sat on the couches and talked and drank and talked and drank and talked and...well ya get the point. Now mind you, this is the first time I've met Raul in person, I've only talked to him on the Real World Message Boards, and I'm a fan of his live journal. Emma had just met Jeff that night(Jeff and I met during the Big Brother casting call). So here we where 4 strangers with one thing in common(wanna guess what?) and we were all talking and hanging out as if we had been friends for awhile now. Again to me it's so wierd how my life plays out like that. Well after awhile we decided to head over to Oilcan's for a bit but it was deader than I've ever seen that place, so back to Rain it was and guess who was back from eating? This time I approached him and we talked for awhile but this is where my opinion of Dan gets kind of slanted. It appeared that once he was bored of a conversation with someone he would just fade out or not pay attention at all. He didn't do this to me(cause I mean really who ignores me?) but I saw him to it to quite a few people. The other odd bizarre thing about him was that it appeared that he wanted to be noticed he wanted people to say "hey aren't you Dan?", which makes no sense to me at all because he would fade out of the conversations so quickly. I'm still undecided what to think about him cause I'm such a fan. Well after we all were done with Rain, we decided to go pass by the house and well that's when things got a lil crazy. I stood back and let Jeff and Lupez be crazy, but it was fun none the less. Jeff knocked on the door(well knocked is a bit of an understatement, cause it was LOUD), and Lupez took a souvenir with him from the house. I won't mention what exactly was taken but it's quite funny and I'm sure it would make a great sell on Ebay. We took alot of pictures and once Raul sends them to be I'll be sure to post them. So well ya, that's yet another misadventure....|W|P|111566151310778344|W|P|A Sunday night on the prowl.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 01:26:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|ok, santi.. im only confused what u guys did exactly at RAIN?... i know this will be on the blogtest!
hehe .. t
sorry couldnt resist ;)5/11/2005 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Santi!! I'm so mad that I missed a weekend with you guys, we'll have to get together again soon!!!

~Catherine (catarina...)5/12/2005 02:18:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Melinda|W|P|I want to see the pics!! :-)5/12/2005 04:25:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|the camera is MIA :-(5/06/2005 01:34:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So guess who I talked to last night. yea it was filled with a mouth full of apologies, and if he had a blogger it would be way more interesting than mine(and trust me that's saying alot) And again, oh well it was his loss not mine right?|W|P|111540452629535438|W|P|Adam Revisted.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 12:32:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|definately HIS loss.. santi, ur a great guy.. just be patient... t5/05/2005 02:12:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Jaime bought me this book 2 christmas's ago and I barely picked it up 2 months ago. In my current mood, I found this passage and thought to use it as a point of motivation. "-I know, your profession is hard and full of contradiction of yourself, and I foresaw your complaint and knew that it would come. Now that it has come, I cannot comfort you, I can only advise you to consider whether all professions are not like that, full of demands, full of enmity against the individual, saturated as it were with the hatred of those who have found themselves mute and sullen in a humdrum duty. The situation in which you now have to live is no more heavily laden with conventions, prejudices and mistakes than all the other situations, and if there are some the feign a greater freedom, still there is none that is in itself broad and spacious and in contact with the big things of which real living consists. Only the individual who is solitary is like a thing placed under profound laws, and when he goes out into the morning that is just beginning, or looks out into the evening that is full of happening, and if he feels what is going on there, then all status drops from him as from a dead man, though he stands in the midsts of sheer life. ...you would have felt just the same in any established professions; yes, even if, outside of any position, you had merely sought some ligh and independen contact with society, this feeling of constraint would not have been spared you.-It is so everywhere; but that is no reason for fear or sorrow; if there is nothing in common between you and other people, try being close to things, they will not desert you; ..everything is still full of happening, in which you may participate."-Rainer Rilke|W|P|111532038732621331|W|P|Letters to a young poet.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/10/2005 12:10:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Melinda|W|P|OH I wanna see the pics!!! :-)5/05/2005 11:34:00 AM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Do you ever get that feeling when so much is going on in your life, yet your not actually moving forward? I've had that feeling lately, I don't know what it is exactly. Maybe it's just that I'm so sick of job # 2 that it's gotten to the point of intolerability(is that a word?). I loathe that place, and each time I go in there, I swear to myself that I'm going to walk into my managers office and announce that I have quit, done, fineto. ...and each night I leave, regretting the fact that I didn't have the balls to walk away from that place. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with ex #1, with each fight, each lie, each manipulation; I'd swear I was done with it and I was going to walk away, and then I'd come back with tail between my legs, begging for more. I want something new and exciting to happen in my life. It's as if I'm waiting for that starting point where I can feel like I'm really truly honestly living and not going by a monotonous day by day pattern. There are a few sparks here and there that have happened since the new year began which you have read about but to me that still isn't enough. I need motivation, to step it up a notch. I need motivation, to believe in myself. I need motivation, to shed this skin I need motivation, to finally start living life to it's full potential. I've signed up with Third Coast Casting to do some extra work, amongst other things. We'll see. No word from BB, so it doesn't look like I'm going to be living in a camera filled two story house this summer. I have summer school coming up, which should be a good release for this unused energy. ...There will be more random thoughts coming today...|W|P|111531090742446637|W|P|StUcK in A RuT|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 12:59:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|damn i think u are me yet a few years younger....

thanks for making me feel NOT so alone... t5/04/2005 01:40:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Finally updated with Chapter 5. but please don't forget about this. enjoy!|W|P|111523213972024474|W|P|Let's talk about Denver|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:00:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Since I apparently only have 3 readers :-), here's my response to Christopher's questions. Enjoy! 1) Kinkiest thing you ever did with a member of the same sex? An ex(who shall remain number less) and I got down and dirty on top of Mount Benol(It's one of the greatest spots here in Austin, where you can see the whole city) 2) Ultimate personal fashion mistake? Fashion isn't my forte, so to some I'm a walking fashion mistake. The worst mistake that I think I've ever made was purchasing this western shirt @ Express(for Men...Of course), at the time the purchase it seemed like a good idea at the time, but once I got home and actually looked @ the shirt I was horrified. It's a good thing no one saw me in that shirt. 3) Whose DNA would you extract to gain the perfect 1) mind, 2) face, 3) body? 1. I'm actually quite content with my own mind. 2. Gael Garcia Bernal, that man has the cutest eyes and complexion I have ever seen. 3. Christopher Knight(Surreal Life 4) cause I wanna look that good when I'm 50. If you still wanna comment, feel free to!|W|P|111522607145340978|W|P|Response|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/05/2005 10:05:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Christopher|W|P|Gael Garcia Bernal - *salivates*5/03/2005 11:58:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Then just say it! Ok so here's the deal, I want to hear feedback from ya'll. Things ya'll don't like, things you do, things you'd like for me to elaborate on. This is going to require active reader participation, so please put down the fork and learn how to type. :-) any comments/suggestions/or scandalous stories about me would be greatly appreciated :-) if no one responds, I fear I may never post again.... yea fucking right! just participate, thanx!|W|P|111518310608853372|W|P|If You have something to say....|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:24:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I am one of the very individuals who knows the nickname from high school that you hate. Would you like for me to share it with everyone?5/04/2005 08:31:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Christopher|W|P|1) Kinkiest thing you ever did with a member of the same sex?

2) Ultimate personal fashion mistake?

3) Whose DNA would you extract to gain the perfect 1) mind, 2) face, 3) body?5/04/2005 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Blogger homunculus|W|P|is it ears? whore? "onyourknees?" if it is who DOESN'T already know those nick-names.

lets see. scandalous things santi has done... hmmm... lets see...

-there was the halloween incident
-bathroom fancies at charlies
-numerous incidents at boyzcellar
-the "straight" seduction diaries
-making me rent TWO rooms in dallas ON MY BIRTHDAY (i'm sorry but ain't no one want to be in the room when you gettin' it on)
-assisting me in covering up the halloween car masacre of 2002

then there's the whole streetwalker side of santi i just will not touch5/04/2005 03:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|it was not ur birthday btw, that incident was in september...and who would have known two tops would end up together and two bottoms would end up together?

not i!5/03/2005 03:59:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P| I'm @ school getting things ready for the summer. It's a scary odd feeling, being back in this building. I'm ready to take this step, one more time(third time's the charm right?) There's this cute boy, whose checking me out. I can't wait to come back... for my education of course.|W|P|111515410000318847|W|P|It's Tuesday.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:27:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Tracy|W|P|As you know Santi, I love love love your blogger. I actually miss it when I can't get to a computer. It's very entertaining and your links are great. So when you are not posting your links will keep me entertained. I think you write beautifully and oh so eloquent. I love it when you are a happy poster and even more when you are angry. Keep up the good work!! I'll be waiting for the next installment!!5/02/2005 07:33:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I met Eric Eric's bestfriend is ex #1 Ex #1 bestfriend used to Jaime. Jaime is now my bestfriend. Jaime's old bestfriend was Ricky, Ricky slept with Stephen, Stephen is ex #2 bestfriend now my exes are dating. Through Eric and this crazy web, Stephen's other friend Jacob, dated Walter. Walter is now good friends with Levon, Levon is Eric's boyfriend. Levon is getting the same degree as ex #3. ex #3 then cheated on me with Alexander. ex #2 knows Alexander. Alexander is friends with Alfonso, I've dated Alfonso. Alfonso also dated Jose, I dated Jose. who once dated locke who slept with Jd, who was ex #1's old roomate. it's funny how it just spins and strings along together, isn't it?|W|P|111508165769326489|W|P|Oh the webs we weave...|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 10:43:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|freaking hilarious... t5/02/2005 05:35:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I've recently noticed, as I always do that my day to day life in the city is forever changing shape, reforming and then back again. I love that about my life, it's so sparatic. SD says it's cause im in my 20's and he's probably right, but what the hell im enjoying ever minute of it(well MOST of the time). So Saturday night was an enjoyable evening with the crazy ass people I work with at job # 2. It's never a dull moment with that crowd, it was interesting to see this one person(who will now be referred to as BB). Well BB was lurking around the different crowds at the party, and just absorbing information. It's going to be interesting to see what is spilt out of that mouth. I also found it quite amusing that certian people who think they are the center of attention, were so everly cleverly ignored. Sunday was yet again a roller coaster. SD, my sister and I went to the Pecan street festival. I've never been there, and once again I've fallen in love with this city. There's this spot where I was standing yesterday looking at the Frost Building and thinking "When is the next time I'm going to be in this exact spot, surrounded by so many people all having a good time and looking at one of the most beautiful buildings i've ever seen"-im such the philospher. The Contender was yet again a good episode, I really do hate it when I want to cry for the fighters at the end of each episode. I was a little upset that I missed the return of family guy, but Jaime has a copy and that's what I'll be doing tonight(with a nice bowl of super fattening ice cream-cause im fat). Jenny, Bobby(her beau) and Juan came over for a marathon of Mario Kart, I don't remember passing out, but apprently I did at some point, with Survivor: All Stars on the dvd player. Somone please rescue me from singledom!!! Onto other interesting news.... He's in town for a play!!! I emailed him today to find out where the play is showing at...who knows maybe I'll get to meet him!! We'll see.|W|P|111507336740795928|W|P|Austin's simple pleasures.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com-->it's been awhile ok!|W|P|111713945616773913|W|P|The one that didn't have a title.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/26/2005 10:10:00 PM|W|P|Blogger roadbicicylist|W|P|Hmmm.. what kind of bike you buy? Want to ride mine? lol Let's go riding one of these day's, I'll be easy on you, seriously :)

About bicycle turn signals; Left = stretch out your left arm to shoulder level, with fingers pointing left. Right = again left arm, but now you bend upwards at elbow, with fingers pointing upwards.

Or just do what I do for right hand signaling, raise my arm and shot the finger right lol.

Let me know about your new bike.

Roadbicyclist5/27/2005 12:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|he he that's funny!6/03/2005 03:30:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Hey, I loved meeting you guys too! I'm finally not creeped out to meet internet people...we're all ok! LMAO - love ya!

~Catherine6/03/2005 03:33:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|it's cause i <3 ur noobs!!5/25/2005 10:17:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So what do you think? p.s. Thanks Jaime!|W|P|111707748649731810|W|P|Version 2.0|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/23/2005 01:30:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I bought this shirt last week in Fort Worth that says "It's not easy, being easy". Now contrary to a common belief, I am in no way shape or form a man-ho. Those days were reserved for my early homosexual years circa 19-20. Well after a long extended weekend that included a friday night with SD, RT and Blane, not to mention my str8(or is he?) neighbor Matt and then there was a fun saturday with my boo Jenny(who just graduated from UT. Go! Jenny, even though u may never read this because you are against computers and technology and you love rocks and nature, etc etc). Bob was there also and well I don't have to say much about Bob because as most of you know, Bob is the best and craziest mofo that i know. Well I spent my Sunday at home being a lard ass and doing nothing. Did anyone catch Desperate Housewives? I was forced to watch it because they weren't showing Family Guy this week(WTF, FOX? You give us three episodes and then take our precious Family Guy away, I swear for each week that you don't show Family Guy, I shall kill you-not really, that was a Family Guy Reference for those of you not on the up and up). Adrain called me around 10 wanting to go out(which I was totally against because I couldnt spend another night drinking), but then I thought to myself, 'hey I can go out and not drink' and believe you me, this was by far the most fun that I have ever had in a very long and sober time. With an exception, that shirt I was talking about earlier, yea well I decided to wear it out last night and it had one of two effects on people. Some guys would look at me with that Raunchy look in there eyes and the others would think that I was a hoe. Now I personally don't care what people think about me because I know who I am and what I do. But damn it that shirt was cute and now I don't think it's that cute-wait who the heck am I kidding I still love that shirt. I danced the whole night with Adrain, Luis, Emma, and Jeff. It was such a good time, I also gave this boy I've known for awhile my number, not so much as I want to date him, but more like I would consider the possibilty if he takes the first step(yes I'm a bitch like that). The night ended with some Tortas at La Mexicana Restaraunt, and a new found confidence that it may not be easy going out being sober, but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun! Oh yea. Like I predicted, it's going to be a Sergio Mora/Peter Manfredo Match Up for tommorow's Live 'The Contender' Finale Bout...I can't wait! (PSSST... I have my money on Mora)|W|P|111687305224485451|W|P|It isn't easy.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/21/2005 06:13:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Jaime sent me this today...and it pissed me off. I mean PISSED ME OFF. _www.lgrl.org_ (http://www.lgrl.org)Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment Passes SenateHurtful Legislation Will Weaken Legal Agreements in TexasMay 21, 2005 Contact: Heath Riddles For Immediate Release 512.474.5475AUSTIN, TX- A historically dangerous and discriminatory constitutionalamendment is headed to Texas voters. The Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment (HJR 6)passed the Texas Senate this afernoon. The amendment was approved by a voteof 21 to 8, narrowly meeting the two-thirds majority required.Upon approval by the Senate, the amendment is now cleared to appear on astatewide ballot this November. This will mark the first time in history that aminority group would be singled out in the Texas Constitution to be deniedequal treatment. Constitutions are historically treated as sacred documents,designed to preserve rights and ensure equality for all.Randall Ellis, Executive Director of the Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby of Texas,says the amendment is dangerous. "This amendment is devastating to thousandsof Texas families, gay and straight alike," Ellis said. "Domestic partnerbenefits, powers of attorney, and even common law marriage will be called intoquestion by this amendment. These are consequences that are supposedlyunintended, according to the amendment's authors. But this is clearly adiscriminatory act, designed to strike at our community at its fundamental level: ourfamilies. The Legislature is obviously willing to sacrifice all Texas familiesfor this unjust agenda of intolerance and discrimination."Marriage affords hundreds of legal rights, responsibilities and obligations,including the ability to visit a spouse in the hospital, social securitybenefits, second parent adoptions and many more. These are denied to thousandsof loving, committed gay and lesbian couples across Texas, many of them raisingfamilies of their own.This amendment would, in effect, solidify LGBT Texans' status as second-classcitizens.Senators Barrientos, Ellis, Hinojosa, Shapleigh, Van de Putte, West, Whitmireand Zaffirini voted against the Anti-Gay Texas Marriage Amendment. Why won't they just leave us alone and be like everyone else?|W|P|111671731412231987|W|P|Martin Luther Queen, where are you?|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/22/2005 03:54:00 PM|W|P|Blogger cheshire cat|W|P|Because it's a very successful political strategy to cause conflicts among people, promise and call off,to care of constant confusion in generall.5/20/2005 02:22:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Ok so on RWA someone hacked into the boards and jacked everything up. Us overly obsessed fans came up with an idea and that's when The Misadventures of Me Message Board was born. So for those of u who wanna chat, feel free to join...it's gonna be nice....atleast for now....|W|P|111661707295765078|W|P|And I got Board|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/25/2005 08:54:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|FUCK OFF PUNK!5/19/2005 04:34:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|My bottle of water spilt in my bag, my journal looks tattered now-which is cool. Drinking a Carmel Moch Frappucino from Starbucks quickly is bad for your tummy. A bum tried to sell me one of those AOL cd's for 2.00 and a cigarette, I gave him the cigarette. That is all continue with you daily grind.|W|P|111653858697413013|W|P|Oh how my day spins.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 02:59:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I don't know why I keep writing these "I have a confession" posts cause in essense, everything I write on here is a confession of sorts, but after writing that long drawn tale about Britney Spears of all people, I've decide that 'hey I need to write about my favoriate subject....Me!!!' So this is my current confession: As some of you may know I have this obsession(and no this one has nothing to do with Reality TV, at all. So rest assured, take a seat and breath), well this obsession has to do with Pop music once again, I've mentioned it before in the first confession but this time I've chosen to go a little deeper. You see yesterday I went to Wal-Mart(or as my people like to call it "El Wall Mard") and purchased somethings for my apartment and then I passed by the CD's and decided "ok it's cheesy pop music time", so I rifled through the CD's wondering which god awful pop cd I was going to purchase and I finally decided on Jesse McCartney, yes ladies and gentlemen I did it, I bought the CD(actually its in the computer right now, playing "she's no you, oh no") and I'm not ashamed to admit it at all. So there I said it, and what? Other Cd's that I have purchased as a part of my cheesy pop music collection: Ashlee Simpson Vanessa Carlton(I like her sound piano and all) Fantascia A-Teens(I own all 3 of their albums) O-Town(both of their crappy releases, not to mention the mixed cd of theirs I have) Backstreet Boys(yes I have their new cd, don't ask why or how, I just have it ok) But before I dig myself into a very very deep hole I want to emphasize that this is not the only kind of music I listen to, I am very fond of the following: Indigo Girls Sarah Mclachlan Tracy Chapman Garbage Allison Krause(if you count liking two of her songs, has anyone heard 'Restless' yet?) So I hope in some way this makes up for my love for cheesy pop music. Why I wrote about this you ask? I bet you're probably scratching your head right now, well I am too(and no it's not because I have lice it's because my head itches), I wrote this because I was bored and I felt this need to write, something if anything and this unfortunately was the word vomit that came out. That is all, carry on with your normal daily duties. I'm out.|W|P|111644637454454176|W|P|I have a confession, pt. 3|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 09:44:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.5/18/2005 09:46:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|I knew I would have to become a blogger to talk to you...gees! No, hey kiddo it's Jessica, Susanna's bad ass M-Fin' daughter. She gave me your address and unfortunately I barfed when I saw all the bubble gum crap you listen to, but hey what can you expect. I graduate not this Saturday but next and we need to hang boy-ee! Alright I'll holla! Peace!5/18/2005 09:47:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessica|W|P|P.S. I deleted it cause I spelled something wrong...I'm not sure I like that it shows that...5/18/2005 09:48:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|awww jess how sweet...hey dont diss my bubble gum pop...there is other quality stuff on here!!! keep reading....(archives to the right), so u graduate soon....yay!! congrats and all that jazz.5/18/2005 12:28:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I originally set out to write a piece about the current season ending of reality TV and my take on everything. Well Rob and Amber got 2nd on The Amazing Race, after lying, stealing and cheating to get there. I guess nice guys finish first this time around. I still believe the final leg of the Race was rigged only to push for the Rob and Amber wedding(Coming to you thanks to CBS this May 24th). But I'm out numbered so I won't even go there. Oh and I'm not done yet... On the 2 hour finale of Survivor, we finally saw another final 4 deadlocked tie(the last one would be Survivor: Marquesas, when poor Paschal took the purple rock), another player quit the game only to hand over his final 2 spot to a friend(man if my friends handed me the option to win a million or 125,000.00 I'd love them forever!). Many people have been debating on whether or not Ian was an idiot for quitting or if the friendships he developed during the game where worth more than the million, I'm going with the latter and let's leave it at that. Kendra and Tana are in the final two for this year's Apprentice. Kendra has this won without a doubt and why Donald Trump decided that he should push the final two for 3 weeks is beyond me. Who smells a ratings slump?!?! And let's not forget the forthcoming 'The Apprentice: Martha Stewart", cause we all know that's going to be a ratings hit. The Contender will be over next Tuesday, and sadly from what I've read it won't return for a 2nd round(nice pun, huh?). The final bout should be interesting, I have my money on a Peter Manfredo/Sergio "The Latin Snake" match-up, but Jesse Brinkley may get another knock out this coming Sunday, we'll see. And before I move on the train wreck that is the Inferno II continues this week, with a busted ear, a shaved head and the devil vs. the mormon for next week's Inferno, I can't wait! Ok...wow that wasn't supposed to be the piece, the point of this post was this: Ms. Britney Spears has gone where no Pop Star has gone before(less we forget Madonna's Truth or Dare circa early 90's). When I first tuned into "Chaotic", I noticed that UPN's new slogan was "All eyes are on UPN". Ummm yea about that UPN, you may want to fire your marketing director because in case you haven't noticed, not very many eyes were on UPN until last night. Unless of course if you count the viewers watching America's next Top Model(has anyone seen that clip where Tyra is all "We were rooting for you! We all were rooting for you!"-who smells an Emmy?!?), but other than that no one really watches UPN. Ok back to my point because I could go on for days about nothing really, so yea we open up Britney's documentary with her talking about love and marriage and blah blah blah bitch please STFU. I didn't know that the show would take us all the way back to last year, pre-foot injury, pre-media backlash, pre-Kevin Ferdinline, and pre-white trash baby named Dockett(that's what I think the child's name should be, why you ask...well I honestly don't know, that was the first name that I spit out and I'm running with it). So we go back to the days before Britney became a Sugar Momma, yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, Britney paid for Kevin to fly to Europe and be her bitch while she went on the road. From the looks of this first episode Kevin is merely along for the free ride that Britney has to offer. Also, Britney's bouncer(who I will call Brutus, read Dockett above) isn't happy about Kevin being there and it looks like some drama is brewing. I love this cause Britney is filming all of this without 800 mics behind her and a production lady handing out waivers(I got way into The Real World Austin's production process), so its all natural with motion sickness included. I will sadly admit(though some won't be surprised at all) that I am going to continue watching this train wreck(according to the previews Kevin and Brutus get into it, imagine if you will Britney yelling "We were rooting for you, We were all rooting for you!", wait wrong show, nevermind). So I leave you with my favoriate quote from Ms. Spears that she gave to us last night after Kevin had been in Europe for a few days: Britney: What do you want to do today? Kevin: I dunno. Britney: Let's just __________ all day...and ya ok? Kevin: You know I'm down for that idea... What was the __________ exactly? Well I guess we as viewers could be the judge but I'm guessin the word rhymes with duck, and that's that.|W|P|111643735073691726|W|P|Chaotic.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/18/2005 01:06:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|ohhhhh lawdy! how could u do tht to the reigning miss ICON! ... i know i know, but she was funny and entertaining.. about her going all the way back to b4 kev?? whats that .. did she have a deal b4 he was around... and brutus will get over it , it seems.. unless he doesnt need a j o b
... im still wondering why she wanted to PRE date this so early, i would only want to show the afterglow! if u follow me.. thanks for the rundown.. t5/18/2005 01:44:00 PM|W|P|Blogger homunculus|W|P|hello, god? yes this is jaime. yea it's all cleared up, how's the missus? uh huh, a cross you say.... interesting... listen god i have a favor to ask, you know those past 10 minutes i just wasted reading that post about reality tv? yea, santi again. could we just give those back to me? no ... oh... ok... i hear judaism is making a comeback.5/18/2005 01:48:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|one word:

bitch.5/17/2005 08:43:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|It had its down moments, and then I had my ups. Seeing my mom wasn't as hard as I expected and I've made my peace with her, and let that portion of my life go. That demon has been laid to rest and for once, I feel as if that burden has been lifted from my shoulders, even if it is for a brief moment. I forgot how much my friends back home, are like family to me. I realized that yesterday morning when my bestfriend's mom was making breakfast. They are my family even if blood isn't involved. They are more family than the actual family I have over there and for that I will be eternally grateful. I've also realized that there is no point ignoring them because of how bad fort worth makes me feel, they made that place feel like home again, and now when people ask me where I'm from, I won't say Austin anymore. I've also discovered that I look flawless in orange. I'm a longhorn by choice i guess. p.s. I have this new confidence, mostly because of my friends back home, that I can accomplish anything that I want. I can predict that this summer is going to be one to go down in the history books.|W|P|111638060818884466|W|P|Fort Worth|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/17/2005 09:08:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|You're such an awesome guy Santi. I love reading everything you write, you have a real gift. You always tug at my heart.

Emmie5/17/2005 10:02:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|i tug ur heart, only to rip it out and stomp on it!!!!

tee hee just kidding, thanks doll face :-)5/17/2005 11:01:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Fine bitch that's the last time Im nice to you. Come here let me poke your eyes out.

Emmie5/17/2005 11:36:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|ya know santi.. u can go home again.. staying is another issue.. i hope a great summer lies ahead for u!! thanks for sharing! ... t5/18/2005 12:27:00 AM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|omg im never moving back there. i forgot to mention i saw the first(as in the first boy i was with) this past weekend, luckily he didnt see me...raunch burger.5/18/2005 03:19:00 PM|W|P|Blogger Jessie|W|P|hahahaha. raunch burger...5/18/2005 03:26:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|lips,

I dont get it :-/5/13/2005 03:22:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Fort Worth this weekend...expect something juicy come monday!|W|P|111601578289491557|W|P|Coming Soon.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/16/2005 11:12:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Hurry up and write. Im waiting to hear all about your weekend.

_Emma_ aka emmie5/17/2005 04:28:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|i have the post in an email @ job #1....which i cant currently get to...dont worry it will be up tommorow, promise.5/09/2005 12:57:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So yes I had yet another encounter with an ex real worlder. Remember I told you that he was in town? Well last night after a weekend filled with SD and RT, and some manwitches my friend Emma called me wanting to go out. I was not having it because I was so exhausted from the weekend but after Emma bribed me with a few drinks, I caved in. We managed to get our friend Jeff to come out with us too, and I had told my friend Raul, that if I went out I would meet up with him at some point. Well since the current Real Worlders(click here for a news paper article about them plus some really good pics.) are slated to leave this week, Emma really wanted to go to 6th street to see if we could get one final glimpse of them. I've already had my encounter with them on the bus, so I wasn't as excited as she was. We headed to 6th street in hopes of seeing something if anything. But alas we didn't see the cast so we headed to the warehouse district to meet up with Jeff and Raul. As we were standing outside of Rain, waiting for Jeff we spot Dan Renzi. He was like 2 or 3 feet away from us and Emma tried to get me to talk to him and I didn't want to cause I'd seem like a groupie, well as we were talking Dan asked us how we were doing and I instantly hit convo-santi mode and sparked up a conversation with him. Well after about 5 minutes of talking and me giving him advice on the good places to eat in Austin, he left to go check out Kat'z(cause ya know it never closes) and Emma, Jeff and I went into Rain. Raul and his boyfriend Lupez were inside so we just sat on the couches and talked and drank and talked and drank and talked and...well ya get the point. Now mind you, this is the first time I've met Raul in person, I've only talked to him on the Real World Message Boards, and I'm a fan of his live journal. Emma had just met Jeff that night(Jeff and I met during the Big Brother casting call). So here we where 4 strangers with one thing in common(wanna guess what?) and we were all talking and hanging out as if we had been friends for awhile now. Again to me it's so wierd how my life plays out like that. Well after awhile we decided to head over to Oilcan's for a bit but it was deader than I've ever seen that place, so back to Rain it was and guess who was back from eating? This time I approached him and we talked for awhile but this is where my opinion of Dan gets kind of slanted. It appeared that once he was bored of a conversation with someone he would just fade out or not pay attention at all. He didn't do this to me(cause I mean really who ignores me?) but I saw him to it to quite a few people. The other odd bizarre thing about him was that it appeared that he wanted to be noticed he wanted people to say "hey aren't you Dan?", which makes no sense to me at all because he would fade out of the conversations so quickly. I'm still undecided what to think about him cause I'm such a fan. Well after we all were done with Rain, we decided to go pass by the house and well that's when things got a lil crazy. I stood back and let Jeff and Lupez be crazy, but it was fun none the less. Jeff knocked on the door(well knocked is a bit of an understatement, cause it was LOUD), and Lupez took a souvenir with him from the house. I won't mention what exactly was taken but it's quite funny and I'm sure it would make a great sell on Ebay. We took alot of pictures and once Raul sends them to be I'll be sure to post them. So well ya, that's yet another misadventure....|W|P|111566151310778344|W|P|A Sunday night on the prowl.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 01:26:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|ok, santi.. im only confused what u guys did exactly at RAIN?... i know this will be on the blogtest!
hehe .. t
sorry couldnt resist ;)5/11/2005 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|Santi!! I'm so mad that I missed a weekend with you guys, we'll have to get together again soon!!!

~Catherine (catarina...)5/12/2005 02:18:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Melinda|W|P|I want to see the pics!! :-)5/12/2005 04:25:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|the camera is MIA :-(5/06/2005 01:34:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|So guess who I talked to last night. yea it was filled with a mouth full of apologies, and if he had a blogger it would be way more interesting than mine(and trust me that's saying alot) And again, oh well it was his loss not mine right?|W|P|111540452629535438|W|P|Adam Revisted.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 12:32:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|definately HIS loss.. santi, ur a great guy.. just be patient... t5/05/2005 02:12:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Jaime bought me this book 2 christmas's ago and I barely picked it up 2 months ago. In my current mood, I found this passage and thought to use it as a point of motivation. "-I know, your profession is hard and full of contradiction of yourself, and I foresaw your complaint and knew that it would come. Now that it has come, I cannot comfort you, I can only advise you to consider whether all professions are not like that, full of demands, full of enmity against the individual, saturated as it were with the hatred of those who have found themselves mute and sullen in a humdrum duty. The situation in which you now have to live is no more heavily laden with conventions, prejudices and mistakes than all the other situations, and if there are some the feign a greater freedom, still there is none that is in itself broad and spacious and in contact with the big things of which real living consists. Only the individual who is solitary is like a thing placed under profound laws, and when he goes out into the morning that is just beginning, or looks out into the evening that is full of happening, and if he feels what is going on there, then all status drops from him as from a dead man, though he stands in the midsts of sheer life. ...you would have felt just the same in any established professions; yes, even if, outside of any position, you had merely sought some ligh and independen contact with society, this feeling of constraint would not have been spared you.-It is so everywhere; but that is no reason for fear or sorrow; if there is nothing in common between you and other people, try being close to things, they will not desert you; ..everything is still full of happening, in which you may participate."-Rainer Rilke|W|P|111532038732621331|W|P|Letters to a young poet.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/10/2005 12:10:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Melinda|W|P|OH I wanna see the pics!!! :-)5/05/2005 11:34:00 AM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Do you ever get that feeling when so much is going on in your life, yet your not actually moving forward? I've had that feeling lately, I don't know what it is exactly. Maybe it's just that I'm so sick of job # 2 that it's gotten to the point of intolerability(is that a word?). I loathe that place, and each time I go in there, I swear to myself that I'm going to walk into my managers office and announce that I have quit, done, fineto. ...and each night I leave, regretting the fact that I didn't have the balls to walk away from that place. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with ex #1, with each fight, each lie, each manipulation; I'd swear I was done with it and I was going to walk away, and then I'd come back with tail between my legs, begging for more. I want something new and exciting to happen in my life. It's as if I'm waiting for that starting point where I can feel like I'm really truly honestly living and not going by a monotonous day by day pattern. There are a few sparks here and there that have happened since the new year began which you have read about but to me that still isn't enough. I need motivation, to step it up a notch. I need motivation, to believe in myself. I need motivation, to shed this skin I need motivation, to finally start living life to it's full potential. I've signed up with Third Coast Casting to do some extra work, amongst other things. We'll see. No word from BB, so it doesn't look like I'm going to be living in a camera filled two story house this summer. I have summer school coming up, which should be a good release for this unused energy. ...There will be more random thoughts coming today...|W|P|111531090742446637|W|P|StUcK in A RuT|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 12:59:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|damn i think u are me yet a few years younger....

thanks for making me feel NOT so alone... t5/04/2005 01:40:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Finally updated with Chapter 5. but please don't forget about this. enjoy!|W|P|111523213972024474|W|P|Let's talk about Denver|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:00:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Since I apparently only have 3 readers :-), here's my response to Christopher's questions. Enjoy! 1) Kinkiest thing you ever did with a member of the same sex? An ex(who shall remain number less) and I got down and dirty on top of Mount Benol(It's one of the greatest spots here in Austin, where you can see the whole city) 2) Ultimate personal fashion mistake? Fashion isn't my forte, so to some I'm a walking fashion mistake. The worst mistake that I think I've ever made was purchasing this western shirt @ Express(for Men...Of course), at the time the purchase it seemed like a good idea at the time, but once I got home and actually looked @ the shirt I was horrified. It's a good thing no one saw me in that shirt. 3) Whose DNA would you extract to gain the perfect 1) mind, 2) face, 3) body? 1. I'm actually quite content with my own mind. 2. Gael Garcia Bernal, that man has the cutest eyes and complexion I have ever seen. 3. Christopher Knight(Surreal Life 4) cause I wanna look that good when I'm 50. If you still wanna comment, feel free to!|W|P|111522607145340978|W|P|Response|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/05/2005 10:05:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Christopher|W|P|Gael Garcia Bernal - *salivates*5/03/2005 11:58:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|Then just say it! Ok so here's the deal, I want to hear feedback from ya'll. Things ya'll don't like, things you do, things you'd like for me to elaborate on. This is going to require active reader participation, so please put down the fork and learn how to type. :-) any comments/suggestions/or scandalous stories about me would be greatly appreciated :-) if no one responds, I fear I may never post again.... yea fucking right! just participate, thanx!|W|P|111518310608853372|W|P|If You have something to say....|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:24:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Anonymous|W|P|I am one of the very individuals who knows the nickname from high school that you hate. Would you like for me to share it with everyone?5/04/2005 08:31:00 AM|W|P|Blogger Christopher|W|P|1) Kinkiest thing you ever did with a member of the same sex?

2) Ultimate personal fashion mistake?

3) Whose DNA would you extract to gain the perfect 1) mind, 2) face, 3) body?5/04/2005 02:57:00 PM|W|P|Blogger homunculus|W|P|is it ears? whore? "onyourknees?" if it is who DOESN'T already know those nick-names.

lets see. scandalous things santi has done... hmmm... lets see...

-there was the halloween incident
-bathroom fancies at charlies
-numerous incidents at boyzcellar
-the "straight" seduction diaries
-making me rent TWO rooms in dallas ON MY BIRTHDAY (i'm sorry but ain't no one want to be in the room when you gettin' it on)
-assisting me in covering up the halloween car masacre of 2002

then there's the whole streetwalker side of santi i just will not touch5/04/2005 03:14:00 PM|W|P|Blogger velvetsaje|W|P|it was not ur birthday btw, that incident was in september...and who would have known two tops would end up together and two bottoms would end up together?

not i!5/03/2005 03:59:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P| I'm @ school getting things ready for the summer. It's a scary odd feeling, being back in this building. I'm ready to take this step, one more time(third time's the charm right?) There's this cute boy, whose checking me out. I can't wait to come back... for my education of course.|W|P|111515410000318847|W|P|It's Tuesday.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/04/2005 12:27:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Tracy|W|P|As you know Santi, I love love love your blogger. I actually miss it when I can't get to a computer. It's very entertaining and your links are great. So when you are not posting your links will keep me entertained. I think you write beautifully and oh so eloquent. I love it when you are a happy poster and even more when you are angry. Keep up the good work!! I'll be waiting for the next installment!!5/02/2005 07:33:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I met Eric Eric's bestfriend is ex #1 Ex #1 bestfriend used to Jaime. Jaime is now my bestfriend. Jaime's old bestfriend was Ricky, Ricky slept with Stephen, Stephen is ex #2 bestfriend now my exes are dating. Through Eric and this crazy web, Stephen's other friend Jacob, dated Walter. Walter is now good friends with Levon, Levon is Eric's boyfriend. Levon is getting the same degree as ex #3. ex #3 then cheated on me with Alexander. ex #2 knows Alexander. Alexander is friends with Alfonso, I've dated Alfonso. Alfonso also dated Jose, I dated Jose. who once dated locke who slept with Jd, who was ex #1's old roomate. it's funny how it just spins and strings along together, isn't it?|W|P|111508165769326489|W|P|Oh the webs we weave...|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com5/09/2005 10:43:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous t|W|P|freaking hilarious... t5/02/2005 05:35:00 PM|W|P|Velvetsaje|W|P|I've recently noticed, as I always do that my day to day life in the city is forever changing shape, reforming and then back again. I love that about my life, it's so sparatic. SD says it's cause im in my 20's and he's probably right, but what the hell im enjoying ever minute of it(well MOST of the time). So Saturday night was an enjoyable evening with the crazy ass people I work with at job # 2. It's never a dull moment with that crowd, it was interesting to see this one person(who will now be referred to as BB). Well BB was lurking around the different crowds at the party, and just absorbing information. It's going to be interesting to see what is spilt out of that mouth. I also found it quite amusing that certian people who think they are the center of attention, were so everly cleverly ignored. Sunday was yet again a roller coaster. SD, my sister and I went to the Pecan street festival. I've never been there, and once again I've fallen in love with this city. There's this spot where I was standing yesterday looking at the Frost Building and thinking "When is the next time I'm going to be in this exact spot, surrounded by so many people all having a good time and looking at one of the most beautiful buildings i've ever seen"-im such the philospher. The Contender was yet again a good episode, I really do hate it when I want to cry for the fighters at the end of each episode. I was a little upset that I missed the return of family guy, but Jaime has a copy and that's what I'll be doing tonight(with a nice bowl of super fattening ice cream-cause im fat). Jenny, Bobby(her beau) and Juan came over for a marathon of Mario Kart, I don't remember passing out, but apprently I did at some point, with Survivor: All Stars on the dvd player. Somone please rescue me from singledom!!! Onto other interesting news.... He's in town for a play!!! I emailed him today to find out where the play is showing at...who knows maybe I'll get to meet him!! We'll see.|W|P|111507336740795928|W|P|Austin's simple pleasures.|W|P|saleman82@gmail.com-->