Stupid shouldn’t play Cupid.

Meet Stupid, Infamous O, and Hondu. So the Infamous O(IO) and I have known each other for a very long time, some would say our entire lives but I have to make some stuff up to protect the innocent so we’ll just say we have been friends for awhile. Well IO was dating this guy that I like to call Stupid because trust me he is very dumb, or stupid. One of the reasons that I like to call him this demeaning name is because 1) he’s “bi” and 2) I’m very protective of IO, I love her like a sister. I don’t understand the workings of Bisexual men, therefore I don’t like them(there’s also a very long history that goes with this but I have to keep somethings personal right?). I know that it’s very contradicting for me to not like Bi guys but hey I’m gay and I play by my own rules.

So Stupid text messaged me yesterday stating that he had this friend that he wanted me to meet and I immediately wrote IO back with the following message:

Ur X is dumb. Gurl doesn’t he know that Stupid shouldn’t play cupid?

She writes back:

That’s what I told him, he’s REAL GAY.

REAL GAY is something that we picked up off of Drawn Together. It’s cute.

But back to my point, so I tell Stupid that I do not, absolutely 100% do not like being hooked up. I believe that I can find men to break my heart my own way and I don’t need anyone’s assistance in this. Obviously Stupid did not understand this because about an hour later he said that he wanted to come over and hang out, I like the idiot that I am sometimes agreed. Twenty minutes later he calls me because he can’t find my apartment (like I said he is REAL stupid) and that “They” were on their way. Wait a minute. When did, “I’m” turn into “we”? Damn it I had been had by stupid none the less so this made the situation far more stressful.

Then Hondu arrived. He’s this cute little 21 year old twink from Honduras. Since my spicy Latina friend Emma is Honduran, it made me instantly attracted to him. I figure since I can’t have Emma I could have a nice replacement. So Hondu and I started talking and blah blah blah I gave him my number. I mean it was the least I could do, we had both been tricked by Stupid and there was no way out of this, plus I thought he was cute. I did though feel weird about the fact that I was hooked up by a friend, not that Stupid is a friend but you get the point right? I text messaged IO again and asked:

Ok he’s cute but do I look that desperate?

IO writes back:

I don’t know are you?

Me:

Maybe…

IO:

You’re REAL GAY.

Me:

Duh.

So Stupid and Hondu left and I was allowed to give my full attention to American Idol Did ya’ll see that bitch Rhinesa or Rhikesa or Starkisha go off on Paula? It was a classic display of people acting a damn fool for camera time. Don’t worry I took some notes for when I get my 15 minutes of fame. So in the middle of my damn show Hondu calls me to talk, and then Stupid text messages me:

What did you think of my friend?

Me:

He’s cute but you should let him know that I don’t like guys who come on to strong.

Then that was it, no more phone calls or text messages for the night. I do though have a date this weekend so we’ll see.