Chaotic.

I originally set out to write a piece about the current season ending of reality TV and my take on everything. Well Rob and Amber got 2nd on The Amazing Race, after lying, stealing and cheating to get there. I guess nice guys finish first this time around. I still believe the final leg of the Race was rigged only to push for the Rob and Amber wedding(Coming to you thanks to CBS this May 24th). But I'm out numbered so I won't even go there. Oh and I'm not done yet... On the 2 hour finale of Survivor, we finally saw another final 4 deadlocked tie(the last one would be Survivor: Marquesas, when poor Paschal took the purple rock), another player quit the game only to hand over his final 2 spot to a friend(man if my friends handed me the option to win a million or 125,000.00 I'd love them forever!). Many people have been debating on whether or not Ian was an idiot for quitting or if the friendships he developed during the game where worth more than the million, I'm going with the latter and let's leave it at that. Kendra and Tana are in the final two for this year's Apprentice. Kendra has this won without a doubt and why Donald Trump decided that he should push the final two for 3 weeks is beyond me. Who smells a ratings slump?!?! And let's not forget the forthcoming 'The Apprentice: Martha Stewart", cause we all know that's going to be a ratings hit. The Contender will be over next Tuesday, and sadly from what I've read it won't return for a 2nd round(nice pun, huh?). The final bout should be interesting, I have my money on a Peter Manfredo/Sergio "The Latin Snake" match-up, but Jesse Brinkley may get another knock out this coming Sunday, we'll see. And before I move on the train wreck that is the Inferno II continues this week, with a busted ear, a shaved head and the devil vs. the mormon for next week's Inferno, I can't wait! Ok...wow that wasn't supposed to be the piece, the point of this post was this: Ms. Britney Spears has gone where no Pop Star has gone before(less we forget Madonna's Truth or Dare circa early 90's). When I first tuned into "Chaotic", I noticed that UPN's new slogan was "All eyes are on UPN". Ummm yea about that UPN, you may want to fire your marketing director because in case you haven't noticed, not very many eyes were on UPN until last night. Unless of course if you count the viewers watching America's next Top Model(has anyone seen that clip where Tyra is all "We were rooting for you! We all were rooting for you!"-who smells an Emmy?!?), but other than that no one really watches UPN. Ok back to my point because I could go on for days about nothing really, so yea we open up Britney's documentary with her talking about love and marriage and blah blah blah bitch please STFU. I didn't know that the show would take us all the way back to last year, pre-foot injury, pre-media backlash, pre-Kevin Ferdinline, and pre-white trash baby named Dockett(that's what I think the child's name should be, why you ask...well I honestly don't know, that was the first name that I spit out and I'm running with it). So we go back to the days before Britney became a Sugar Momma, yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, Britney paid for Kevin to fly to Europe and be her bitch while she went on the road. From the looks of this first episode Kevin is merely along for the free ride that Britney has to offer. Also, Britney's bouncer(who I will call Brutus, read Dockett above) isn't happy about Kevin being there and it looks like some drama is brewing. I love this cause Britney is filming all of this without 800 mics behind her and a production lady handing out waivers(I got way into The Real World Austin's production process), so its all natural with motion sickness included. I will sadly admit(though some won't be surprised at all) that I am going to continue watching this train wreck(according to the previews Kevin and Brutus get into it, imagine if you will Britney yelling "We were rooting for you, We were all rooting for you!", wait wrong show, nevermind). So I leave you with my favoriate quote from Ms. Spears that she gave to us last night after Kevin had been in Europe for a few days: Britney: What do you want to do today? Kevin: I dunno. Britney: Let's just __________ all day...and ya ok? Kevin: You know I'm down for that idea... What was the __________ exactly? Well I guess we as viewers could be the judge but I'm guessin the word rhymes with duck, and that's that.