Aftermath(March 8th 2004)

I found this in the journal I was talking about earlier. I thought it would be interesting to share, seeing as ALOT has changed since I wrote this. Enjoy! "So I've been patiently waiting for the last couple of months for this to happen. The man I love, left me for someone else, someone who he thought would be better than I was, and now it's all blown up in his face. Over the last couple of months, Ex #2 and I have gone from friends, to dating, to friends with benefits, to friends, to dating, to friends...you get the point. Well I knew that this day was coming, the day that his little dream boy would turned out to be someone else and I was right. So today he picks me up, we talk about my current issues with my mom and he tells me about his current issues with his boy. After about an hour he dropped me off and I didn't expect to talk to him for another week or so because this had become our new routine. Come midnight he called me and asked me to come over. I could tell in his voice that something wasn't right, but I unfortunately still had to be his friend. Like I said before the day I've been patiently waiting for had finally come, but I feel like shit. I don't know what to do, how to act, what to say. I hate that he's hurting and yes I do want to comfort him, but I can't because he's hurting for someone else. My emotions will go unnoticed. I don't understand how im supposed to be simpathetic. He knows that I will always be there and vice versa, but right now this is so difficult for me. I just want to hold him but I can't, it's to wrong. Nothing about this is right and I don't know" That is the last page in the journal, I haven't writting in it since. It was two days before I officially dropped out of school. Funny how things change huh? And yet some how they manage to stay the same.