Hanging 2004 out to dry.

Ok so this is my end of the year-thank god it's over- post. Be afraid, be very afriad. So this year started off with a bang(me, drunk and yelling at my brother on a cell phone at 2 a.m), so you can only assume that this was just going to be one of those years(ironically 2 years prior i was in the same parking lot, the same complex with my boyfriend at the time, and someone saw us kiss and then smashed the window next to where we were parked, again it spelt out the rest of that year....oh how i miss 2002). So early January i was working and going to school doing the same thing I had been doing for the last 2 years, and then my mom gets sick and all hell broke loose. I had to talk to my brother again, which at the time I didn't want to. I had to be an adult about the whole situation so it was best for me just to suck it up and roll with the punches. Then the news of what exactly my mother's illness was came in and I was shocked(that's a complete understatement but the effects of that news still bother me). . Febuary pretty much just flew by for me, as did March since I was so wrapped up with what was going on with my mom, and trying to figure out of I wanted to continue going to school or not. I pretty much crashed at burnt at that point. I dropped out of school because I could not deal with the emotional effects of my mother's illness, work and dealer with my lazy, brothers who decided that it was best to put alot of responsiblity on me, so that they wouldn't have much to worry about. April, brought on alot of change in my life. The ex once again resurfaced, as did certian emotions and hostility towards him. All of that changed after a dinner date where all was laid on the table and alot was forgiven. As we took a shot later that night, we cheered to 'a new begining' and things have been that way since. It feels good to be able to allow yourself to re-open to a person who once had your heart. I'm very fortunate to have have not one but two close relationships with exes. My birthday went off without a hitch(jessica, jaime, justin, javier, richie, andy, aaron, and airon where there...it was great, especially the post dinner madness at the club!). May, was quite an exciting month. My bestfriend gratuated, as did Bob, and the ex(who will now be refered to as Ralph) and as the month ended, I found myself completely attracted to a new boy...and did he bring some adventures with him. During June and July, he and I talked, but didn't get to serious because he was in San Antonio for the summer and felt a little inadequete because I wasn't in school or working. Also during this time, Ralph and Javier grew pretty close, at first it was odd having two of your exes become really good friends. Things turned out better than expected because I was actually able to bounce off of them a little bit. During August, I started my new job and things really felt like they were going to turn around...wrong wrong wrong. My aunt got sick and we had to take my mom back up to fort worth, then my uncles decided that she was better off up there since we weren't doing a good job taking care of her(now where the f*ck where they during the first 7 months that my mom was sick??), my aunt ended up passing away and this was the begining of my mom really falling deeper into her illness. September also brought the end of the first boy and me(I should have never trusted a 19 year old and actually believe that he wouldn't cheat). Oh, October.... with it came New Money, the best Halloween ever and the sunglasses that I stole which would later be one of the reasons that i've taking such a liking to the newest guy. As, November creeped it's way in with Thanksgiving and such, so did the drama with ralph and jaime(ralph and i are finally talking again, and jaime is gone somewhere far far away). I also came to a realization that alot of my actions can't go unpunished and I need to quit making excuses for alot of the things that I do. And now as December comes to an end, I just hope and pray that this New Year is going to be a little bit better than next year. I really do hope that things work out with this new boy....and that is that!