An Epiphany of sorts.

I went to RCC last night with Adrain and Luis, I hadn't been in awhile so it was nice for a little bit. I ran into Ex #3 and accidently called him fat... Me(after looking at his shirt): Ya know this shirt doesn't fit you. Ex #3: Are you calling me fat? Me: No, why? Ex#3 : I have to go. Me: Ok. Ex #3: And next time I go shopping I will find clothes that don't make me look fat. Me: Huh? Ok what I meant by the shirt not fitting him was that the shirt didn't go with his look, etc. Not that he was fat, I would never call anyone fat...well except RT, SD, Justin, Jenny, Jessica and about 100 other people but not Ex #3, no not me...never. Well while I was dancing my bum off I looked around at the same familiar faces that I have seen week after week and thought to myself 'Am I really ready for something, new and exciting or stay here and go visit Justin in New York in January under my own terms?' Not to mention my job, I've said it before I detest job #2 and I really don't want to return there because of this recent turn of events, with Job #1 I have excellent job and financial security and more importantly I have stability in my life. I really really want to go on this misadventure but at the same time I would be sacraficing alot to take this chance, and honestly that something I don't want to do. So tell me this, am I being selfish for not wanting to help my family out? Or am I retarded for not taking this opportunity for all that it's worth.