The weekend Bitch Slap

So went out with Bob on Saturday to Rain, it was nice going out again since I've been on lock down due to the missing ID. The funny thing is that even though I was completely able to drink, I didn't(I was expecting a snow storm because of this, but alas it didn't happen). I didn't like the place all that much, I don't maybe its something about the glitz and glam that the place was trying to show that bothered me. I don't know if I will be going back. After awhile I was able to convince Bob to head over to Oilcan's which oddly enough was a more comfortable place for me(I used to hate this club). I ran into J there and as soon as we said hi, he high tailed it to the door(coincendence or not?). We stayed there for awhile and then headed back over to Luis and Adrian's...and this is when I started figuring that something was quite right. Javier and Ralph were there playing video games and Bob and I quickly joined in, after the medicore night there was nothing better to do. On sunday everyone and there mother went to Rainbow Cattle Company(shall I list? Javier, Will, Raj, Sonny, Luis, Adrian, Rigo, Lizette, Lynn, Linda, Justin and Jonathon). I really had a blast hanging out with everyone, ya know getting drunk and being stupid and dancing our asses off. I ran into J again and we finally got a chance to talk. I asked him if he had read the 'Therapy' post and apparently he hasn't because his computer is broken. ya know there has to come a point when all these little reasons he's given me begin to sound like lies...well that's what I thought at the time. So I realized that two exes of mine were being awfully close throughout the night, which was nothing really new to me...until the hand holding and the hugging, so being the bitch that I am, I asked them to stop cause it was pissing me off(we've all been friends for awhile now)...I should have known then that something wasn't right. A phone call later, I learned alot about my importance to some people and how easily I can be used and spit out and then kicked to the ground. I regret some of the things I said last night, and other thingS I said I'm going to stand by completely. I still don't know how I'm going to handle this situation cause I care for them both deeply and the thought of them being together sickens me...even though I know it would never work out. I apologized to one ex this morning cause most of what when down last night wasn't his fault and I completely went off on him without him having any warning or previous info of the last week. The other ex I haven't spoken to yet, and I'm not sure if I want to. He knew how I felt about both of them, especially him and for him to do something like that to me really gets under my skin. So after the drunken phone call I had to talk to someone, and would would that someone be?? The only person to answer his phone was J, so I had to give my drama, with tears and all. I'm really trying to impress this boy aren't I?? And I still don't know if his excuses are lies or not but we'll see. I've got alot on my mind today and it's only gonna get worst once I talk to the exes...this is far from being over. to be continued... I never would have opened up but you seemed so real to me, and after all the bullshit I've heard it's refreshing not to see that I don't have to pretend. He doesn't expect it from me. So don't tell I haven't been good to you. Don't tell me I have never been there for you. Just tell me why nothing isn't good enough