I don't know what to say, think or feel.

it's easy to pretend things are the way they were, its alot harder realizing that they aren't-Me, last night I'm not really going to go over what the quote is all about , because it's to deep and the person it's about reads this blog, so why should I publicly proclaim something, when I can just tell them in person? It's going to be a very long weekend, and I feel like I'm taken a few steps back, good steps to say the least. OK, onto other things. Now its public knowledge that I don't drive a car, in fact I'm afraid of driving but I will never admit that to my friends cause they would think I'm crazy. But after 2 bad accidents, I hate driving, I hate the freeways, and I hate just being in a car period. The irony of this is that I work for an insurance company, and hear about car accidents all day, so that just feeds my hatred for cars. So onto my point (sorry I tend to ramble sometimes). So there I was on my way to work on the good ol' # 15 bus and this lady gets on. Instantly I look in her eyes and I recognize that look, it's the same look that my mom has in her eyes. It's a very scary lost look and I hate seeing it. Well this lady apparently didn't have enough money to get on the bus and she didn't have her disablities card with her either, I felt bad for her and the bus driver was just being a dick about the whole situation. For some odd bizarre reason I brought extra change with me, which is something I never do cause I hate carrying change around(i sure do hate alot of things don't i?), So i get up and give the lady the change, so we can get going cause I gotta be at work. I put my head phones back on and just go back into my world, the lady continously keeps looking at me, and the it bothers the crap out of me. Well I finally get to my stop and the lady grabs my hand on the way out, I take my head phones off so I can see what she has to say, "God bless you" she mutters and let's me go. I just smiled and kept on moving. The odd thing about the whole situation, and even after the lady talked to me was that I felt like it was my mom and not some random stranger, and then I started thinking about my mom and I got that depressing feeling again. I hope it wears off before tonight, because it's Jaime's birthday and I need to be peppy.