Why, I ask Why?!

Dear Assholes who stole my bike: You know my friend SD says that when someone steals something from you it's because they obviously needed it more than you. Now I understand that alot of people in my neighborhood probably need alot of things I have more than I do, but as far is my bike is concerned. That was just a low blow. I mean in case you didn't notice me leaving with my bike daily but that's what I use to get to work. I know I know I should just buy a car, but what would be the point of that? So you could just break my window and take what items I do have in there? And have you seen gas prices lately? Not to mention the fact that I hate driving. So yea I enjoyed having my bike, it got me off my lazy ass and out into the world. Thank you for taking that away from me. And another thing, would you please come pick up the lock you left behind when you stole the bike? I understand that it was cut, and it really has no use for you but I don't want the reminder of how cruel humans can be. And why in the world did you take my roomates bike? Her rim was bent and the tire was flat, that was just plain wrong. Well I guess it's time to buy a new bike. Regards, Santi. P.S. I hope the rims break when you hauling ass downhill, and the tires fall off. But I hope you don't get hurt, no I would never wish that on anyone.