im fat

So last night ex #2 called me cause it was a mutual friend's 22nd(yea right) birthday party. Here are some of the highlights: ~"Str8" boy who has just left his girlfriend is hanging around a bunch of homos...hmmmm...how str8 is he? ~I was leaning on a kitchen table, minding my business and enjoying my drink, I attempt to hop onto the table and then BAM! it split in two. Yes that's right I broke a table. Now those of you that know me know that I weigh like a buck and a half...how I broke the table I don't know. The funny part about the whole story is that my friend Sonny just told me that he was a better bottom than me and I was like "yea whatever" and in my true fashion after I broke the table I told sonny "see this ass can do alot" and then he responded with "I guess so Elsie" ~I flirted with the owner of the table for the remainder of the night so he would forget I broke the table and remember how cute and funny I was. ~I had a pack of 20 birthday candles, and asked the birthday boy if we were supposed to multiply the candles by two for his real age. He told me to go to hell. ~Went to Elysium, which is a very "bizarre do what u want be who you are" kinda place. ~Started Angels in America disk one but I was to drunk to remember what happened, only that Al Pacino reminded me of "The Devil's Advocate"-another film he was in, and I got scared.